Friday, August 31, 2018

ES Preview: MSU vs. Utah State

Michigan State Spartans (0-0, #11 AP) vs
Utah State Other Mormons (0-0)


August 31, 2018.  7 pm.  BTN.
Spartan Stadium, East Lansing, MI.
Weather:  79 and sunny

Sagarin Ratings:  MSU #9, USU #79
Line:  MSU -23 1/2

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL??!!  Bring on that other team in Utah, Utah State University, which are the Aggies officially... but we really know they are the Other Mormons. 

I saw their plane arrive early this morning, flying in what looked like a B-52 very low over Grand Ledge.  (Since Mormons don't condone violence, it was probably just a low flying cropduster... at 5 am).  When they landed, the Other Mormons realized they intended to make their return to conquer Beaver Island, but instead arrived about 250 miles south at the Grand Ledge airport. The Other Mormons are directionally challenged (Jerusalem is across the Atlantic Ocean, not in Utah), but shall arrive in an Amish caravan in East Lansing sometime this afternoon.

Other Mormon plane arriving early Friday morning in Grand Ledge
So, are we scared of the invasion?  Nope.  But, they bring with them a beautiful day and an excuse for a tailgate!  Should be sunny at kickoff, upper seventies, and with grill, friends, and beer in hand - BRING ON FOOTBALL 2018!

ES sez:  Michigan State 38, Utah State 13
Smig: MSU 36-10
Sloth:  MSU 27-10
Keith: MSU 20-17
Big Joe and Phantom 309:  MSU 42-6
RGM3:  MSU 41-21

Enlightened Spartan Predictions for 2018 Season

IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON!  

Time to welcome Utah State to town for the 2018 season's opening shit-kicker!!!! As such, let's forecast the season from some of the most loyal of the ES' Spartan Nation.  They've chimed in with a response to several questions about the Spartans this year...

GO BIG GREEN!

ES sez:
Final Record, Ranking:  11-2, #6
Chance to win B1G Championship: 33%
Team liked the least: Michigan
Beer to be served at opening tailgate:  Maybe some PBR on ice?

Kat.
Final Record, Ranking: 10-2, #7
Chance to win B1G Championship:  50%
Team liked the least:  Michigan
Beer to be served at opening tailgate:  Two Hearted

Sloth.
Final Record: 9-3
Final B1G Record: 7-2
Chance to win B1G Championship:  33%
Team liked the least:  This is the most stupidest question ever asked.
Beer to be served at opening tailgate: If Hirko is bringing the beer, it will be lukewarm and served with a heaping side of VH II.

J Rand.
Final Record,  Ranking: 15-0, #1 - National Champions
Chance to win B1G Championship:  100%
Team liked the least:  Illinois
Beer to be served at opening tailgate:  Cheap

Keith.
Final Record, Ranking: 11-2, #7
Chance to win B1G Championship:  20%
Team liked the least:  Ohio State
Beer to be served at opening tailgate: Oberon

Big Bob. 
Final Record,  Ranking: 11-2, #10
Final B1G Record: 7-2
Chance to win B1G Championship:  50%
Team liked the least:  Michigan
Beer to be served at opening tailgate: Two Hearted

Kzoo Michelle.
Final Record,  Ranking: 10-3, #14
Final B1G Record: 8-1
Chance to win B1G Championship:  50%
Team liked the least:  Michigan
Beer to be served at opening tailgate: Oberon

RGM3.
Final Record,  Ranking: 10-2, Outback Bowl
Final B1G Record: 7-2
Chance to win B1G Championship:  42.69%
Team liked the least:  mother fucking Michigan
Beer to be served at opening tailgate: Two Hearted

Big Joe and Phantom 309.
Final Record, Ranking:  11-1, #6
Team liked the least: Ohio State
Beer to be served at opening tailgate: cheap and cold

PEANUT BARREL
And, over the summer, the ES popped into the Peanut Barrel to ask both Joe and Skuz about their predictions and thoughts... it seemed unanimous among the experts at the PB that the over/under for Spartan wins was 9... with a likelihood of 10-2.