Saturday, October 21, 2017

Enlightened Preview: MSU hosts Indy

#18 Michigan State (6-1, 3-0) vs Indiana (3-3, 0-3)
Spartan Stadium
East Lansing, MI
3:30 pm, ABC-TV
75 (wow!), partly sunny

Sagarin Ratings:  MSU #24, Indy #46

Yes.  LJ Scott will play.  He is an idiot, but he paid his fine.  ES bets he sits the first quarter.

Predictions:

Big Joe and Phantom 309: 35-24 MSU. It's going to be a beautiful day for football!
Debbie Does Texas: 34-21 MSU
Aussie Paul: 28-0 MSU
Carter: 31-24 MSU
Keith: 34-10 MSU
RGM3: 31-14 MSU

ES was out too late last night whooping it up at the Spartan hockey game (6-4 victory vs Western!). So, let's make it a clean sweep for the Spartans: Fumbleitis LJ Scott 30, Fumbleitis Indy 20.

FYI - Yes, Huddersfield Town defeated Manchester United, 2-1, for first win over Man U in 50+ years.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Big Green moves up. All is proper in the world.



It is all proper.  The world is now spinning squarely on its axis.

AP 25


RKTEAMRECPTSTREND
1Alabama(61)7-01525
2Penn State6-01432 1
3Georgia7-01417 1
4TCU6-01322 2
5Wisconsin6-01241 2
6Ohio State6-11184 3
7Clemson6-11117 5
8Miami5-01109 3
9Oklahoma5-11066 3
10Oklahoma State5-1900 4
11USC6-1886 2
12Washington6-1811 7
13Notre Dame5-1798 3
14Virginia Tech5-1727 1
15Washington State6-1578 7
16NC State6-1573 4
South Florida6-0573 2
18Michigan State5-1563 3
19Michigan5-1558 2
20UCF5-0387 2
21Auburn5-2303 11
22Stanford5-2274 1
23West Virginia4-2157NR
24LSU5-2108NR
25Memphis5-162NR

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Enlightened Preview: Rodents v Sparty

They like snow and meat in Minny

#21 Michigan State (4-1, 2-0) vs. Minnesoter (3-2, 0-2)

Sagarin Ratings: MSU #22, Minny #54

October 14, 2017. 8:00 ET/Fox
TCF Stadium
Colder than a ticket-taker's smile at the Ivar Theatre on a Saturday night, Minnesota
Weather: 61, rain/thunderstorms, 8 mph wind SE
TV: BTN

Line: MSU favored by 4

Here we go. Crunchy's is a useful place for foaming at the mouth. What shall thy say?  Minnesota is seeking its first win against the Spartans since 2009 and its first win against an AP-ranked Michigan State team since 1962.  Minnesoter has too many lakes, too much cold... but it hain't snow today.  It's to be a monsoon.  The ES don't know anything about Minnesota (link here).  Got nothing.

Predictions:
  • Mike Valenti: MSU, but "I'll take the points (Minny)"
  • Mark Feather: 27-21 MSU 
  • Dianne DuBay Ford: No prediction but I’ll be there!! 
  • Debbie Chang: 24-16 MSU
  • Paul Anders: 35-0 MSU 
  • Chris Zech: 31-17 MSU... After further consideration of tomorrow’s potential monsoon, I am revising my prediction to: MSU 20 Gophers 7 
  • Steve Sundeen: 34-10 MSU 
  • Ronnie Maxedon: 24-17 msu 
  • Jeremy Hernandez: MSU in a blowout. Minny is one dimensional imo, all run. MSU stops the gopher run attack and they win. 
  • RGM3: 24-14. Those mother f*ers don’t stand a chance  
  • Chris Carter: Ok...I've been way off the last two weeks...thankfully so...this one I hope to get right...MSU 24 Minny 10 
  • Keith Cambier: Tougher than it should be, 12-10 green. 
  • Big Joe and Phantom 309: 10-9 MSU 
  • Scott Hirko: Anyone have 11-5? 
  • Dave Smigielski in the rain: 17-3 
  • Chris Hock: we should have been at the cal game tonight. It's a good one.
ES sez:  Remember last week?  MSU 14-10


Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Valenti calls it like he sees it: Dantonio outcoached Harbaugh


Mike Valenti does it again.  Another beautiful, straight-talkin', high-fiving, wake-up-call, reality show about coach Dantonio owning Harbaugh and Jesus Harbaugh's inability to win the big game.  (revisit 2015).  A few good points:  Yes, coach D does more with less, and outcoached Harbaugh. MSU was ready, and is 8-2 of the last 10.  At this point in his career, Harbaugh has the same record as did Brady Hoke (24-7), who was fired.  The delusional narrative out of Ann Arbor.  Harbaugh is 1-4 against MSU & Ohio State.  And, he is being paid $9 million with a pair of $1 million assistants.

Just pointing out the obvious.

Monday, October 09, 2017

Paul Bunyan returns home to EL

Yup. That is correct and official. Welcome home, buddy!
Once again, thank you Mike Hart.

Big Green is #21 and should be ranked ahead of that scUM we beat at craptown on Saturday. OK, bare with me.  The ES has not showered since Friday because of that dominating performance against the bastards from AA.  It's important to wear this victory a bit longer. Coach Dantonio has performed some good coaching jobs in his tenure... but this one against Jesus Harbaugh ranks at the top.  Coach D had a steady hand on the tiller through a driving rain storm - allowing Michigan to make the mistakes... and they did: 5 turnovers.  Good solid defensive effort by MSU.

The Spartans came ready to play.  Witness coach D's reaction after the game - go to 3:45:10 until a about 3:47:10 and turn up the volume.  Listen to this thing of beauty. Two minutes of sheer joy. He did not directly respond to a single question from the reporter and instead lectured her about the bus ride home. It's an absolute classic. "Let me tell you something about this bus ride home." And then he brings up Sherm Lewis for chrissakes. Incredible - unless you are a diehard Spartan, you got no idea. The ES has watched this 50 times today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeL4fQ9nV04

What say you?

Best call?  Well, there were several, particularly on defense.  However, the ES is going to point to the fake sweep reverse screen pass for a TD (go to 1:45).  You want perfection?  That was probably the best and most gorgeous screen the ES has ever seen.  Not only did it baffle scUM defense, but there was a convoy in front of Madre London with noone to block. Wow.

Yesterday, watching the Lions game at Reno's... and color commentator (and former Cowboy and Syracuse Orange) Darryl Johnston mentions "what about the Michigan State and Michigan game last night???"  WOOP WOOP!!!!!

It was an incredible game. In a monsoon in the 3rd quarter, MSU did what it needed to with a 14-3 lead: they held onto the ball.  scUM did not.  We deserved that win. Played really REALLY hard. Good good football. As good as it gets. Coach D was a genius yesterday - absolute master. One of his greatest coaching jobs.

Joe Bachie, B1G Player of the Week, played like a man possessed vs scUM
Who was the player of the game? While Lewerke played very well at QB for the Spartans, Joe Bachie (#35) was EVERYWHERE on defense, with 10 tackles, a sack, a forced fumble, and an INT in the monsoon.  Awesome performance.  He played deep safety on the last play of the game and recorded a PBU, knocking the ball down.   He is easily the B1G Ten Defensive Player of the Week. Get this - on the season - he already has 44 tackles, 2 sacks, a fumble recovery, an INT, a forced fumble, and 2 PBUs. What???? 44 tackles? Jesus, he is on pace to have 120 tackles this year. What????

It's amazing how Mike Hart's "little brother" comments continue to haunt scUM.  Nearly every year, the same thing, a victory over the little people from Ann Arbor.

Post-game press conferences are a must.  Jesus Harbaugh showed why yesterday.  The $9 million man was morose.

Always remember: "The pride comes before the fall."  Thank you, Coach D.

Next up:  a tough roadie at Minnesota (3-2/0-2), which lost 31-17 at Purdue on Saturday.

Sunday, October 08, 2017

Michigan State funding drive for Mike Hart statue

Mike Hart will be present for the
dedication ceremony
Following yesterday's 14-10 victory in football against the University of Michigan, Lou Anna Simon,  president of Michigan State University (MSU), announced her willingness to revisit the desire to build a statue in honor of the former running back from Michigan, Mike Hart.  Hart gained infamy from his post-game comments berating MSU after a 2007 victory in head football coach Mark Dantonio's first year. Since that time, Dantonio has used Hart's comments as urgency to successfully lead the Spartans to an 8-3 record against the MSU rival. 

The ES was at today's press conference, at the Administration Building on the East Lansing campus next to the Red Cedar River,  and took these notes:

"We have previously discussed building a statue in honor of Mike Hart," stated president Simon.  "But, because of the lack of private funding, we did not move forward with the project.  However, considering the victory yesterday, coach Dantonio's 8-3 record against that school 60 miles down the road, and more specifically, his comments after the game... well, we decided it was time to revisit this need." (see 3:46:00 at the video she referenced)

President Simon noted several needs for the project, including the dominance of Michigan State over Michigan in running the ball against Michigan during the Dantonio era.  She provided an interesting side to her comments: "Excuse me," she quipped.  "Once again, we dominated the line of scrimmage.  When will the media report this correctly?  MSU has gained nearly 2,000 yards rushing against Michigan since Mark took over.  Just consider - what has the other school has accomplished?"  With the statement, Michigan State released a chart (below) showing MSU having actually gained 1,923 yards rushing compared to Michigan's 988 yards rushing since coach Dantonio began his tenure at Michigan State in 2007.


"It is time for the Spartan Nation to stand up and support this effort," said Simon.  "We love Mike Hart and his contributions to Michigan State University."



Saturday, October 07, 2017

Cover it Live! ES interactive blog for Mich State v scUM

Let's chime in to watch the Big Green sweep up the scUM ass!  ES is at Renos in EL watching this shit-kicker. Get outside the ugly photo and chime in!

Live Blog Michigan State Spartans against #7 - UM
 

Thursday, October 05, 2017

Enlightened Preview: scUMbags eating Korn



Here's your scUM trailer trash, eating maize, while listening to Korn. 
And who's the starting QB for scUM? O'Korn.  Cornrolls, eating corn, listening to Korn, rooting for O'Korn.  Is there a God to help us from this madness?  

Michigan State (3-1, 1-0) vs. #7 scUMbags (4-0, 1-0)
Sagarin Ratings: MSU #27, scUM #13

October 5, 2017.  7:30 ET/Fox
Michigan Stadium
Ann Arbor, MI

Weather: 76, cloudy, 18 mph wind SSW
TV:  Fox


It's great for the ES to be flat, dead wrong.  ES picked a tank job against Iowa, and was proven wrong... as we needed only one week to prepare, and with a stout defense, win 17-10 against the Ugly Chickens of Iowa, not the two weeks necessary to be drubbed by the Irish.

OK, here I am with Big Bob and Don Middlebrook at Reno's reliving shitty weather games in our lives.  Thinking of the rain and wind this weekend in Khakiville leads to weather remembrance (in no ranking order) before we get to the predictions:
  • MSU hosting Florida Atlantic (2008).  Absolute pouring down rain, like the God opened up a firehose on Spartan Stadium.  It lasted ALL GAME LONG.  Bob and I were shivering, and it was 72 degrees outside.  There was no wind, the rain just came straight down, like a 4-hour shower.  QB from FAU tried to throw the ball, and the rain knocked it down.  Javon Ringer for MSU ran for 250+ yards, because there was nothing else to do. Hardest rainstorm I've ever experienced in my life.  
  • MSU hosting Northwestern (1989).  The Big Green clobbered Northwestern, 76-14 in EL.  The snow just DID NOT STOP.  Late November. Big Bob recalls the sweepers on the field after every possession to mark each 5 yards.  The ES remembers the student section throwing snowballs at the back of the NW players, and the PA announcer stating "please do not throw snowballs, you are endangering the players" as play was stopped. 
  • MSU at Illinois (2005).  Traveling to Illinois with ChiSpartan and Big Bob, when we arrived it was 98 degrees in late September.  And humid.  MSU roared out to a 61-7 lead in the middle of the third quarter, and Big Bob was yelling out "BELIEVE!!!!" (the Illinois phrase at the time) and the ES yelling "Get Zookified" (in reference to coach Ron Zook)!  But thousands of students at Illinois were wearing shirts that said "Ann Arbor is a Whore" and after the game dozens congratulated us, and begged us to beat scUM the next week.  
  • MSU losing to ND (2006).  In the remnants of Hurricane Katrina, the ES & Co. watched the beginning of the downfall of John L Smith in the pouring rain.  It's pouring rain and 40+ mph wind... why run for 12 yards a carry when you can throw in a monsoon?!  The ultimate of stupidity.
Let's get to the game:
2017 scUM Homecoming Queen, a 3.95 GPA Nuclear Physics major
What does one think of when one considers Ann Arbor?  non-contiguous streets.  Hippie wanna-bees having pot-smoking festivals between splitting atoms.  Challenged drivers. Great bread, bad teeth, and bad hair.  Watching "Wolf of Wall Street" with grandpa and kids.  $40 parking on someone's lawn... without a refresher?  Bad seating.  Construction on non-contiguous streets.  Almost-greatness always.  Trailer residence in abundance - why attend there, when you can park there?

Furthermore, what does one do when you read the contract of the second wealthiest coach in the nation?  $4,000 khaki allowance. LOL.

'Enough.  MSU better offense vs UM great defense. UM average offense vs MSU good defense.  Seems even-steven to me.  Last to screw up, other team wins.

Predictions:

  • Big Bob: MSU wins 19-16, with a safety in hand.
  • RGM3: Heart says MSU, Brain said UM... Heart wins out. 21-20 MSU
  • Sloth: 23-7, Goodguys.
  • Australian Paul: MSU 38 - IOWA 0
  • Debbie Does Texas:  MSU 21-17
  • Big Joe and Phantom 309: two teams with good defenses and lacking offensive identities means we're in for a low scoring game, 10-9 MSU
  • Feather: 27-24 scUM
  • Don Middlebrook: A big Spartan fan, but I think it's a 24-20 Spartan loss... but we look good and next year we take 'em.
  • Lax Kaatz: Both teams give the ball away, but scum don't capitalize while MSU does. 20-17 good guys.
  • Oakland Ronnie: MSU 18-13
  • Carter:  scUM 31, MSU 17
  • Keith the Midget-man:  MSU 19-17
  • Kelly Butt:  MSU 17-10
ES sez:  surprise, surprise, surprise!  Coach D is the comeback king pulling a few gadget plays out of his hat at the right time in a defensive-minded game.  Spartan Nation 18, Homecoming Queen 16.

Monday, October 02, 2017

Wahoo! Ugly Chickens - Check. 14-pt dog to Khakis? Check


OK.  Bring on Big Blue. Thanks sweet Jesus the Big Green defeated the Ugly Chickens from Iowa, otherwise we'd be a 28-pt dog to God.  But, MSU was victorious, and as such, the Touchdown Machine is just a 2-TD underdog to the Ann Arborites.

Bring on Jesus. 
Whew.  The ES figures life was over.  A few take aways from the 17-10  victory over Iowa are below for your consumption.

First the positives:

1.  The Spartan defense is pretty damn good.  The interior defense is far better than advertised.  And, the ES is digging on LB Joe Bachie - he is everywhere.  Everywhere. You'd think Bachie was either a CNN reporter waiting to pounce on Trump or the ghost of Hugh Heffner waiting to pounce on anything moving.

2.  +2 on the TO parade.  LJ Scott hung onto the ball as the only real threat on the ground all day, and he didn't cough up anything.  He should carry that pigskin around campus for the rest of the year.

3.  Felton Davis.  Ahem, we now have a go-to target.  Davis caught nine beautiful balls for 114 yards and 2 TDs - including a leaping goregous-dreadlock catch.  His bud, C, a waitress here at Reno's... was bragging about him to the ES on Sunday.  "My besty... He was killing it!"  Indeed.

4.  Hartbarger.  The Spartan punter just delivered an all-conference performance against Iowa.  MSU dominated, but parce que incompetence of Dave Warner's play calling (see below), the Spartans just couldn't put the game away.  After the ES was done berating Warner, Jake Hartbarger did better and  dropped all five of his Spartan punts inside the 20 -- this includes one of three punts late in the 4th when, over and over and over again, Hartbarger punted as a result of back-to-back false start and delay of game penalties by #2 Justin Layne (and he still stayed in the game after both penalties on the same play).  Give Hartbarger credit, no thanks to his teammate.  His performance was certainly worthy of B1G Player of the Week.

5.  Spartan DBs played... Lights out.  Playing fantastic.  Really tight coverage.  Surprisingly impressive performance.

Now, let the bitching commence.

Coaches:  Get with it!
Dave Warner should be fired immediately.  Coach Dantonio has too much loyalty... but the ES was up in row 125, turning around and screaming at the coaches ("time for a change"???? YES!) next to the press box 'cause:

1.  Iowa fake field goal could be spotted from the moon.  Why didn't Coach D call a time-out?  Just not thinking.  Weird - he's better than that.  Brain fart.

2.  Just a few examples of the garbage crap from offensive coordinator Dave Warner:

    2a.  Don't understand why, early in the 4th, one would throw a long pass out of the shotgun on a 3rd-and-1 while at the Iowa 30.  Confounding.  Led to a missed field goal.  Dumb.

    2b.  With 4:47 to go, on the Iowa 40, on 3rd-and-8, why throw an interior slant. ????  Burn clock???  Duh???

    2c.  With 3:38 to go, 2nd and 10, running the pitch-reverse.  Stupid.  Can lead to a disaster and noone was fooled.  Completely unnecessary.  It's bush-league, John-L-Smith type play-calling.

    2d.  About 6:00 left in the third quarter... two straight runs with an ineffective Madre London straight up the middle. London running useless, so...  bring in LJ Scott, and the same thing.  Loss on downs.  What is wrong with you, Warner?  A glutton for punishment?

3.  Madre London looked like his namesake.  Give his lethargic tail some more fried fish and chips.  Put him on a boat back to see the Queen.

4.  Matt Coughlin, our FG kicker, is not very good.  Just an FYI.

I'M DONE.  Talk to you later.

Friday, September 29, 2017

Enlightened Preview: Michigan State hosts Iowa

Michigan State (2-1, 0-0) vs. Ugly Chickens (3-1, 0-0)
Sagarin Ratings: MSU #37, Ugly Chickens #31

September 28, 2017.  4:00 ET
Spartan Stadium
East Lansing, MI

Weather:  61 and sunny
TV:  Fox


Yes, we are the whipping post for the nation.  Against the Irish, the ES wanted to projectile vomit after the first period.  There's nothing like laying an egg on national television.  That was wonderful. 

It was amusing seeing how Coach Dantonio took a page out of the ES’ playbook from TWO WEEKS AGO and finally encouraged LJ Scott to carry a football around campus all week.  It was, unfortunately, A WEEK LATE… Scott is so talented, he just can’t keep fumbling into the end zone.  

On the coaches show yesterday at Reno’s, with co-defensive coords Harlon Barnett and Mike Tressel, they were singing the praises of Dave Warner (what????) and that “we believe we could have beaten ND without all the mistakes.”  

The new helmet for the Spartans with the coaching staff in stained air
What were they smoking?  What was the final score????  38-18 Irish, right?  Was I in the same stadium?  And, the Spartans had two weeks to prepare for that drubbing?  

MSU O-Coordinator Dave Warner is a buffoon.  His quote after the game ““Change our approach? Maybe. Because what we are doing is not working… We are doing what we have been doing, for years and years around here. Protecting the football. It’s not taking place right now.”  Do something different?  DUH.  No shit, Sherlock. 

Hey, Dave: here’s another idea.  Practice and play the fundamentals instead of using all these reverse read-options.  It looks stupid, and it ain’t working.  If it didn’t work against the Friggin’ Irish, it sure won’t work against Iowa.   Warner has GOT TO BE FIRED.  

Interestingly, the bookies in Vegas are smoking the same thing as Barnett and Tressel - they have made the Big Green three point faves.  Excuse me while I put my mortgage, my car, and my kids college funds on an Iowa team that lost to Penn State on the last play of the game -- although statistically, the Ugly Chickens were thoroughly dominated, doubled up in total yards (579-273 PSU), possession (39:39 - 20:21 PSU), and tripled up in first downs (29-11 PSU).  

Still, that’s the easiest bet the ES has ever made.  

Predictions:

Sloth: 24-7, Chickenhawks.
Ham: Warner has to go. Michigan state won't be able to beat any proper competition with him running the offense. State will continue to be bad until he's gone.
Australian Paul: MSU 41- IOWA 0
Not-even-21-yet Greg: 31-24 Iowa
RGM3: We will NOT have a repeat of last year. MSU will come back with a performance Msu fans need to see. With that I have MSU 31 Iowa 17
Big Joe & Phantom 309: MSU 17- Iowa 14, it'll be a tough slog of a game and I don't anticipate any scoring until the second half
Everything's Big in Texas Deb:  MSU 28-24
G:  Sparty rights the ship, 24-17 MSU
Sluggo: Another shitty year for MSU. Head coach on the chopping block. Pun in there somewhere
Zzzzz-ech:  Iowa 37-20

ES sez:  Sorry, Spartan fans.  After witnessing the debacle against ND, this Spartan team just is not talented enough and is NOT getting any better.  Don’t see how the Big Green TD Machine can pull this one off.  Ugly Chickens 31, Dave Warner 17.