PURDUE SUCKS courtesy IU The Enlightened Spartan: PURDUE SUCKS courtesy IU

Tuesday, February 09, 2010


The worst about Purdue, courtesy Tim Solon of IU Planet (from Indiana U.):

Purdue is my sworn enemy. Not only was I raised to root for the Hoosiers, I was raised to despise the Boilermakers. I shudder at the mention of black and gold. I cringe at the names of “Drew Brees” and “Kyle Orton.” I have vomited at the mention of “Brian Cardinal” on several occasions. I laugh at the sight of Gene Keady. To put it simply, Puck Furdue. Honestly, what do they have going for them? Not much, that’s for sure. I don’t think I could ever make a complete list explaining why I hate Purdue, but it never hurts to start one. Here goes:

(1) They’re like a crappy version of Notre Dame: Of course, I’m just talking football. They are nowhere near the level of prestigious academically and their campus is nothing like that of the Fighting Irish. Every year, however, they are overrated and full of bandwagon fans. The media always picks them as a dark horse to win the Big Ten (usually because of an easy schedule), but they never come through. I would never try to say that IU is a better football school. We’re not. But we don’t pretend to have a powerhouse program; Purdue does. Alright, you guys tied for the Big Ten championship in 2000, congratulations. Northwestern also got a piece of that championship. The last time before that you had won? 1967. Guess what? IU shared the title with you that year.

(2) They may have the ugliest campus in the Big Ten: It’s not that their home field is intimidating, it’s that no one wants to go to West Lafayette. Honestly, were the creative juices so nonexistent that a square was the best idea for campus you could come up with? Plus, West Lafayette just stinks. I don’t care if that’s the result of a dog food factory or whatever you want to claim causes that smell, it’s awful. Search for “West Lafayette stinks” in Google and you will come up with 34,100 results. Apparently I’m not the only one who noticed.

(3) Your basketball team sucks: I don’t care what lame argument you bring up. You can tell me you have more Big Ten championships than anyone else (one more than IU). You can tell me that Gene Keady was a great coach. You can tell me that you lead the all-time rivalry series. But I’ve got a couple things to say. Firstly, you only lead the all-time series because of the way you manhandled us early in the series. You beat us 51 of the first 62 games. Congrats, you got the ball into what was still a peach basket more than we did. Secondly, how many national championships do you have? Oh, just one from before the NCAA tournament existed? Maybe we’ll lend you one of our five banners if you want to see what it feels like.

(4) Your cheers are lame: Really, “Boiler-Up” is dumb. And annoying. Check out the definition at UrbanDictionary.com: “Taking a fat, hot steamy dump”. I mean, if you really have to do that 1643 times in a game, you’ve got problems.

To end this little list, I will use the words of a fellow Boiler-Hater, a blogger from Notre Dame. I had to do a little censoring, but I’m sure you can figure out what would actually take the place of the little asterisks:

“F*ck Purdue. And their cartoony mascot, Purdue Pete. And that cardboard choo-choo they roll around the stadium. F*ck the baton twirlers. Even the gold one. And the black one. And the silver twins. They can take that tiny little "World's Largest Drum" and shove it up their pansy asses. If I wanted a carnival atmosphere, I'd go to Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey circus, not a college football game. Wake up, Purdue the rest of the world is laughing at you.”

Strong words, but the truth can be very harsh. Please IU, show them who the real men are this afternoon. Send them back home to their stinky, square fortresses with their unattractive females and let them wallow in self-pity. Beat those Boilermakers!


  1. Anonymous8:37 AM

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  2. Anonymous4:57 PM

    Great site about what is really a joke of a school. It is interesting to read reviews especially old ones of Purdue. Purdue University is an institution that rest on its past. Current practice at the University has faculty focused on becoming consultants that bring in a 54 percent overhead that goes to the coffers of administration in order to give their friends 300,000 salaries. The best professors started leaving this place long ago and what remains is a shell of its former glory. If you care about your education or that of your sons and daughters find a place that still cares about undergraduate education and if your a graduate student look for places that have a real quality reputation and faculty to teach you. I have 2 degrees from the place and my experience at other institutions opened my eyes to what a joke Purdue has become.