OK, at first the ES was outraged. Then, sitting next to Big Bob with mimosas and Bell’s Beer at the steady, we began to finally realize the brilliance of Mel Tucker.
This is all part of the master plan. Let’s calm down, no worries Spartan Nation. Getting your asses kicked is fun! Clearly we have the next $aban. The 38 points allowed by MSU with a new coach (Tucker) in his first game was the most since his mentor, $aban, lost 50-10 to Nebraska in 1995.
“The greatest victory is that which requires no battle.”
Wow, that exactly is what we saw today in Spartan Stadium. No passion and execution to succeed was on display by the men in green. Ahhhh, but then we turn to Sun Tzu and realize the genius of Mr. T as we lead into our annual throwdown against the Yellow Jackets from Ann Arbor.
Sun Tzu – “All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when we are able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must appear inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.”
We certainly deceived the enemy in Ann Arbor today. It was pure genius; unable to attack, appearing inactive, far away from the action – that was Michigan State football in its greatest deception of the modern era. Michigan – you have no idea the volume of destruction that is headed your way next Saturday.
Some of the action today was borderline confusing – QB Rocky Lombardi ambling along like a mentally deranged alcoholic on the gridiron, firing passes left and right for no reason. The offensive line lacking any ability to block or “perceived” lack of ability to strike Rutgers’ iron wall defense.
Brilliant.
It is our ruse. Ha Ha Ha. We got you right where we want you. Thought you had us figured out, didn’t ya?
Next week, coach Tucker will release Armageddon.
To quote Sun Tzu again, as is clearly coach Tucker’s strategy: “know yourself and you will win all battles.” Oh, we Spartans know who we are. We are proud and mighty, and a 11 point loss at home to mighty Rutgers is exactly the strategy that will bring your savior Jesus Harbaugh to his knees.
See you next week. Rest well, little people in Ann Arbor. The time is ‘nigh. Grab your spears and pitchforks. We’re coming!
