Saturday, October 29, 2022

ES Preview: scUM week and a Trivia Quiz

She's gonna play on the OLine today for the scUMbuckets

Michigan State Spartans (3-4, 1-3) vs #4 Michigan Wolverines (7-0, 4-0)

Michigan Stadium
Ann Arbor, MI
October 29, 2022.
  7:30 pm
Weather: 50 clear skies. 

Sagarin Ratings:  scUM #4, Michigan State #48

Line Outta Vegas: scUM by 22


  1. Who has won 10 of the last 14 in the MSU-scUM series?
  2. Who won 3 of the last 4 in the MSU-scUM series played in Ann Arbor?
  3. Which MSU coach is the only coach to be 2-0 in his first two games vs scUM?
  4. How much was scUM favored by the last time the MSU played them in Ann Arbor?  Who won?
  5. What is Jesus Habaugh's all-time record vs MSU?
  6. Who won the last time scUM was favored by 22 in Ann Arbor?

    Answers below.

Yes, after the defensive-led performance by Michigan State in its W over Wisky two weeks ago, there is LIFE in them lungs of the Green and White.  Today: two weeks to prepare (for both teams).  The Jesus in khakis vs Tuck, the best-dressed man in college football. What better than to repost the ES' thoughts from two years ago, when #13 Michigan were favored by 22 (sound familiar, WalMart Wolverines?) in Ann Arbor :


Ha Ha Ha, Harbaugh: You are on your KNEES!

OK, at first the ES was outraged.  Then, sitting next to Big Bob with mimosas and Bell’s Beer at the steady, we began to finally realize the brilliance of Mel Tucker.

This is all part of the master plan.  Let’s calm down, no worries Spartan Nation.  Getting your asses kicked is fun! Clearly we have the next $aban.  The 38 points allowed by MSU with a new coach (Tucker) in his first game was the most since his mentor, $aban, lost 50-10 to Nebraska in 1995. 

“The greatest victory is that which requires no battle.”  

Wow, that exactly is what we saw today in Spartan Stadium.  No passion and execution to succeed was on display by the men in green.  Ahhhh, but then we turn to Sun Tzu and realize the genius of Mr. T as we lead into our annual throwdown against the Yellow Jackets from Ann Arbor. 

Sun Tzu – “All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when we are able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must appear inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.”

We certainly deceived the enemy in Ann Arbor today.  It was pure genius; unable to attack, appearing inactive, far away from the action – that was Michigan State football in its greatest deception of the modern era.  Michigan – you have no idea the volume of destruction that is headed your way next Saturday.

Some of the action today was borderline confusing – QB Rocky Lombardi ambling along like a mentally deranged alcoholic on the gridiron, firing passes left and right for no reason.  The offensive line lacking any ability to block or “perceived” lack of ability to strike Rutgers’ iron wall defense. 


It is our ruse. Ha Ha Ha.  We got you right where we want you.  Thought you had us figured out, didn’t ya?

Next week, coach Tucker will release Armageddon.  

To quote Sun Tzu again, as is clearly coach Tucker’s strategy: “know yourself and you will win all battles.”  Oh, we Spartans know who we are.  We are proud and mighty, and a 11 point loss at home to mighty Rutgers is exactly the strategy that will bring your savior Jesus Harbaugh to his knees. 

See you next week.  Rest well, little people in Ann Arbor.  The time is ‘nigh. Grab your spears and pitchforks. We’re coming!



  1. Michigan State
  2. Michigan State
  3. Mel Tucker
  4. 22. Michigan State
  5. 3-4 vs Michigan State
  6. Michigan State
ES sez.... MSU 24, UM 23. 

Sunday, October 16, 2022

ES eats a plate full of crow for breakfast: Thank you Spartan defense!

 Look at this stat line carefully (ES with arrows as pointers):

Giving up less than 300 yards and just 131 through the air???  Huh????  Thought I'd never see the light of day.  Yes, the ES is GLAD to eat crow and say he was proven otherwise by the Spartan defense yesterday.  Michigan State played its most complete game of the season, and that especially can be said for the defensive side of the ball.  

ES had his keen eye on the DBs all game, and this was by far their most focused and athletic game:  Ameer Speed broke up several plays (turning his head around to look at the ball, yes!) and Charles Brantley also didn't get torched for once (well maybe once), for the most part keeping plays in front of him.  Not sure what happened in practice this week, but give Coach Tuck credit for reaching out of the grave to pull himself and MSU out of it. 

MSU played with grit for much of the game, and the defense made BIG PLAYS (2 TOs, including in double OT) when they needed it: it's been over a month since a big play from the defense.  

This is a game MSU can build upon.  It must.  Two weeks until we meet the overrated Wolverines, who we get at exactly the right time: you hear that Jesus Harbaugh?  We got you right where we want you.  GO GREEN!  

Saturday, October 15, 2022

ES Preview: MSU vs Wisky

Michigan State Spartans (2-4, 0-3) vs Wisconsin Badgers (3-3. 1-2)
Spartan Stadium, East Lansing, MI
October 15, 2022.  4 pm. 

TV: Fox Sports

Weather: 50 and cloudy.  Black and blue. 

Sagarin Ratings:  Wisconsin #20, Michigan State #58

Line Outta Vegas: Wisky by 7

I gave up and didn’t post for the matchup vs Ohio State last week because I knew - as did 60,000 others who DID attend the game but left at halftime, that MSU’s futility is no match for an awesome Buckeye team.  This is not the 1999 team with talent that upset OSU; this is actually the worst MSU team since Muddy Waters was coach at Michigan State.  Why?  This team is LOST, its gone AWOL. 

Michigan State has lost its last 4 games by double digits since God knows when - longer than the 36 years since I first attended MSU for my undergrad degree from 1986-90.  For all you Coach Tuck fans, not even coach D or John L Smith or Bobby Williams or Nick Saban managed such a feat.  It means this team is LOST between the ears. They can fight all they want, but they are not being coached to be in a position to win. For this week, this column focuses on the defense backfield to prove the point. 

I’m tired of the poor coaching of the defensive backs.  It’s terrible.  It reminds me of a conversation I had with Mark Dantonio in his fourth year at Reno’s Sports Bar for the MSU Coaches Show.  I said: “Wow coach!  It looks like these DBs are finally learning to turn around and look at the ball for once.”  Coach D took offense to it since he was also a former DB at South Carolina.  

Coach Tuck should also take offense if he is worth his salt.  And then do something about it. 

The defensive secondary has no help without a pass rush.  OK, injuries are a major factor… but that means Coach Tuck has not solved our depth problem on the defensive line or elsewhere.  He got “lightning in a bottle” last year with Kenneth Walker III - but no lightning this year.  His ”transfer portal” strategy reminds the ES of John L Smith’s JUCO strategy — the difference is John L Smith was more consistently better with it over four years than the one year lightning from coach Tuck.  

Coach… if you can’t tell, Charles Brantley is getting TORCHED in the backfield.  All he does is chase receivers around the field all game, even if he is somewhere within 10 yards of being in position. He plays lost.  Why does he NEVER TURN AROUND when the ball is on its way?  THAT IS COACHING.  It hasn’t changed since game one this year, or since game one last year. If anything, CJ Stroud showed all too well the CBs are easy to pick on.  Brantley sucks.  Brantley & Co. gets smoked nearly every route and then put their hands in the air as if helpless.  HANDS UP IN SURRENDER? Brantley in particular has lost confidence and has taken a step back.

And, Coach, your blitzes never get home because they are either telegraphed, bad timing, or just plain poor execution. Again, this is coaching.  Blitz, and you put the DBs on an island where they are already lost.  It’s a pure shame, just watch the tape. 

I’ll be at the stint vs Wisconsin on Saturday.  But unless you get a pass rush and coach the defensive backs to turn around, it will be another loooonnnng outing, and you can expect Spartan Faithful to again exit in droves at the half. 

Tuck Comin’?  His lack of talent, depth, coaching and scheming shows to me he’s as lost as the players.  Tuck Leavin’.  PROVE ME WRONG. 

ES sez: Wisconsin 38, MSU 21.  

Saturday, October 01, 2022

ES Preview: Michigan State at Ugly Uniforms

MSU (2-2, 0-1) vs Maryland (3-1, 0-1)

Saturday, October 1, 2022. 3:30 pm
Capitol One Field, College Park, Maryland
Weather: 62, showers.  Wind:11 NE

Sagarin Ratings: Maryland #35, Michigan State #47

Line Outta Vegas:  Maryland by 8.

A tiny Taulia Terrapin

The ES got to thinking…. Has Maryland EVER been favored over MSU?  Methinks not, especially with MSU’s 10-2 dominance in the series.  

Oh well, this is not the most exciting post from the ES.  MSU has major problems dating back to last year in the defense, and they obviously have not been solved.  What’s to think one week makes a difference?  

Maryland brings a prolific offense to this game, like the last two opponents, Washington and Minnesota.  Uh-oh.  Somebody tell DC Scottie Hazelton.  The defense has no pass rush and the DBs have been chasing receivers down from behind the last two weeks.  It’s been embarassing.

Spartan Fans:  Pray for a miracle of for the earth to split into two.   Pray for rain, lots of it, just to make things interesting.  I dunno.  Harumph. Whatever.  I have a faint sliver of hope.  It makes no sense for Maryland to be favored over MSU.  None.  Time to right the ship. Coach Tuck, measuring stick time.  


ES sez:  MSU 28, Maryland 26.