ES Preview: scUM week and a Trivia Quiz

She's gonna play on the OLine today for the scUMbuckets

Michigan State Spartans (3-4, 1-3) vs #4 Michigan Wolverines (7-0, 4-0)

Michigan Stadium
Ann Arbor, MI
October 29, 2022.  7:30 pm
TV: ABC
Weather: 50 clear skies. 

Sagarin Ratings:  scUM #4, Michigan State #48

Line Outta Vegas: scUM by 22

TIME FOR SOME TRIVIA

1. Who has won 10 of the last 14 in the MSU-scUM series?
2. Who won 3 of the last 4 in the MSU-scUM series played in Ann Arbor?
3. Which MSU coach is the only coach to be 2-0 in his first two games vs scUM?
4. How much was scUM favored by the last time the MSU played them in Ann Arbor?  Who won?
5. What is Jesus Habaugh's all-time record vs MSU?
6. Who won the last time scUM was favored by 22 in Ann Arbor?
   
   Answers below.

Yes, after the defensive-led performance by Michigan State in its W over Wisky two weeks ago, there is LIFE in them lungs of the Green and White.  Today: two weeks to prepare (for both teams).  The Jesus in khakis vs Tuck, the best-dressed man in college football. What better than to repost the ES' thoughts from two years ago, when #13 Michigan were favored by 22 (sound familiar, WalMart Wolverines?) in Ann Arbor :

---------

Ha Ha Ha, Harbaugh: You are on your KNEES!

OK, at first the ES was outraged.  Then, sitting next to Big Bob with mimosas and Bell’s Beer at the steady, we began to finally realize the brilliance of Mel Tucker.

This is all part of the master plan.  Let’s calm down, no worries Spartan Nation.  Getting your asses kicked is fun! Clearly we have the next $aban.  The 38 points allowed by MSU with a new coach (Tucker) in his first game was the most since his mentor, $aban, lost 50-10 to Nebraska in 1995. 

“The greatest victory is that which requires no battle.”  

Wow, that exactly is what we saw today in Spartan Stadium.  No passion and execution to succeed was on display by the men in green.  Ahhhh, but then we turn to Sun Tzu and realize the genius of Mr. T as we lead into our annual throwdown against the Yellow Jackets from Ann Arbor. 

Sun Tzu – “All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when we are able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must appear inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.”

We certainly deceived the enemy in Ann Arbor today.  It was pure genius; unable to attack, appearing inactive, far away from the action – that was Michigan State football in its greatest deception of the modern era.  Michigan – you have no idea the volume of destruction that is headed your way next Saturday.

Some of the action today was borderline confusing – QB Rocky Lombardi ambling along like a mentally deranged alcoholic on the gridiron, firing passes left and right for no reason.  The offensive line lacking any ability to block or “perceived” lack of ability to strike Rutgers’ iron wall defense. 

Brilliant. 

It is our ruse. Ha Ha Ha.  We got you right where we want you.  Thought you had us figured out, didn’t ya?

Next week, coach Tucker will release Armageddon.  

To quote Sun Tzu again, as is clearly coach Tucker’s strategy: “know yourself and you will win all battles.”  Oh, we Spartans know who we are.  We are proud and mighty, and a 11 point loss at home to mighty Rutgers is exactly the strategy that will bring your savior Jesus Harbaugh to his knees. 

See you next week.  Rest well, little people in Ann Arbor.  The time is ‘nigh. Grab your spears and pitchforks. We’re coming!

------

TRIVIA ANSWERS. 

1. Michigan State
2. Michigan State
3. Mel Tucker
4. 22. Michigan State
5. 3-4 vs Michigan State
6. Michigan State

ES sez.... MSU 24, UM 23. 

Thank you, sir. May I have another?

MSU Spartans (4-5/2-4) vs Michigan Wolverines (8-2/4-2)
Michigan Stadium, Ann Arbor, MI
November 16, 2019. 9 am Pacific Time.

Weather:  does it matter?

Sagarin Ratings: MSU #30, scUM #11
Vegas Line: scUM by 13-1/2

Prognostications:

Thank God the ES is visiting his pops in Gig Harbor, Washington State.  Thusly, the game is at 9 am. The whole day to enjoy with family after the ass kicking from scUM!

Tomorrow will be yet another poor showing - this time against the Evil Empire. Make it 5 losses in a row. This coach, Mark Dantonio, is clueless and relies on buffoons to coach the walking wounded. 'Tis clear as day: point to consistent years of poor substitutions and curiously poor clock management. Not to mention poor execution. Unfortunately, Coach Dantonio is using the playbook from John L Smith.  Only God knows why.

Against Michigan, a day at the woodshed will be the icing on the cake for Dantonio’s departure.

It’s the end of the world as we know it. And I feel fine.  Thank you sir, may I have another?

• Sloth: Dantonio is fired by Monday morning. F**k that asshole.
• Cam: I probably wasted 100 dollars on a ticket
• Keith: pset....sparty wins. . Because thats what happens when everybody loses hope. Naaaahhhh. Were gonna get killed.
• Chock: scUM 10, MSU 6
• Smig: I predict a bloodbath.
• RGM3: 2-0 Michigan. Another sad day in paradise. Hopefully dantonio tells the players he’s retiring at the end of the season tomorrow in his pregame speech and gets the boys ready for one more Michigan game for him.
• GVSU Gregger: 34-10 Michigan.
• Big Joe and Phantom 309: 30-24 MSU blocks a game winning FG for scUM and runs it back for a TD as time expires.
• Australian Paul:  MSU 21-7
• Mike (ES’ Dad): scUM 28-7
• Queen Kat, Duchess of Kirkcaldy: scUM 21-10

ES sez: scUM 41-10

Valenti calls it like he sees it: Dantonio outcoached Harbaugh

Mike Valenti does it again.  Another beautiful, straight-talkin', high-fiving, wake-up-call, reality show about coach Dantonio owning Harbaugh and Jesus Harbaugh's inability to win the big game.  (revisit 2015).  A few good points:  Yes, coach D does more with less, and outcoached Harbaugh. MSU was ready, and is 8-2 of the last 10.  At this point in his career, Harbaugh has the same record as did Brady Hoke (24-7), who was fired.  The delusional narrative out of Ann Arbor.  Harbaugh is 1-4 against MSU & Ohio State.  And, he is being paid $9 million with a pair of $1 million assistants.

Just pointing out the obvious.