Saturday, September 28, 2019

Magic Johnson vs John Cougar Mellancamp

#25 MSU Spartans (3-1/1-0) host Indiana Hoosiers (3-1/0-1)
Sept. 28, 2019.  3:30 pm ET.
East Lansing, MI - Spartan Stadium

Weather:  65 cloudy, wind NNE 8.

Sagarin Ratings: MSU #19, Indy #60
Line outta Vegas: MSU by 14

What the hell is going on?  MSU scores a phenomenal 7 points against Arizona State, despite the coaches doing everything to pitch a shut out.  Then, they come out and rip Northwestern 31-10?  ?? This is one up-and-down team.  At least we know the Spartan defense will show up...  hopefully they can score.

Luckily for the Hoosiers, the MSU Homecoming Parade was cancelled due to a thunderbolt storm last night - and the skies are clear today to have the game.


J Rand (Nashville): MSU 42-17
Big Bob (Kzoo): MSU 21-20
Sloth (Pittsburgh): MSU 6-3
CHock (San Fran): MSU 17-16
GVSU Gregger (GVSU): MSU 21-14
RGM3 (metro D): MSU 28-10
Big Joe and Phantom 309: MSU 28-3
The Queen of Scotland (Jackson): Who gives a shit? Indiana 17-13

ES sez... MSU 20, Indiana 10.

Saturday, September 21, 2019

No Offense vs. Good Coaching

Coach D and the Spartans

MSU Spartans (2-1/0-0) vs Northwestern Wildcats (1-1/0-0)
Ryan Field, Evanston, IL
September 21, 2019,  Noon ET.

Line:  MSU by 8-1/2?  They're smoking dope in Vegas

Sagarin Ratings:  MSU #15, Northwestern #57

In East Lansing, John L. Smith has returned to overthink the offense.  Why play your best running back (Collins) at the most important times?  Naaahhh, let's substitute him with someone (Hayward) who can't juke past a dying rhino.  Better yet, when we have time, let's run a Chinese fire-drill with time ticking down to kick a field goal... instead of spiking the ball to give the team more time!

This coach we have is being paid very well.  $4.39 million dollars this year, to be exact.  Yet, the Dr. of Excuses says "everything is happening real time, very fast" can't use his experience to save our skins.  Throwing the ball in 50 mph winds in a bowl game (RedBox), or ditching an effective run game to pass in sub-zero temperatures in BFE Nebraska, or switching to your backup QB on 4th down to run into a pile (Tulsa), or mismanaging the entire season by playing a hurt QB...  This is getting old.

As said countless times: MSU is is going to WASTE another dominating defense because of stupid coaching on the offense.  This is an average team at best. Coach Dantonio has lost his way.

Coach Fitzpatrick is EXACTLY what you want in a coach.  Putting his best players on the field at the best time and giving his players the best opportunities to win.  Our coach, takes our best players out and overthinks himself.  What happened to Coach D?  His trick plays?  Coaching up 3-star recruits?  He seems lost.

This hurts to write this, but it is true.  He didn't fire anyone.  Dr. Excuses, the "foxhole" guy will be loyal to the point of losing.  And, he has lost this faithful Spartan.

8-1/2 point favorites?   Shit, we can't even score more than 7.


  • Big Joe & Phantom 309 (metro D): 12-10 MSU the offense scores 3 points and the defense gets a TD and a safety to secure the game
  • GVSU Gregger (Gr Rapids):  MSU 24-17
  • RGM3 (Farm Hills): MSU 21-10
  • The Queen of Scotland (NY, NY):  AWOL
  • J Dog (Clarkston): MSU 17-13 in OT
  • CHock (San Francisco, CA):  NW 28-24
  • Keith (Pontiac):  MSU 20-17
  • Sloth (Pittsburgh, PA):  Frustration
  • Smig (Santa Rosa, CA): NW 14-3
  • Big Bob (Kzoo): NW 20-14. MSU’s offense will be twice as gooderer at moving the ball between the 20 yard lines as last week, so they will generate 808 yards of offense and lose the game 20-14. CHOCK response: "How the fuck will they ever score 14 points Big Bob? 6 Point Mark's offense is fine tuned for 2 made field goals (except last week, substitute 1 made TF... about the same)." BIG BOB response: "Easy. The D will have to score the 2nd TD."

ES (en route to be with J in Clarkston):  NW 10-6

Sunday, September 15, 2019


Michigan State University is accepting applications for a new coaching staff for its NCAA Division I-FBS football team.  Specific opportunities include:  Head Coach, Offensive Coordinator, position coaches (Offensive Line Coach, Wide Receivers Coach, Quarterbacks Coach).  It is requested applicants review video from the previous four (4) years of Michigan State football and its coaching decisions prior to application for the position.

Required qualifications include:
  • Ability to take responsibility for substituting best talent with sub-par talent in key positions (e.g. RB, QB) on key plays (particularly 3rd & 4th Down)
  • Understanding time management, particularly at the end of halves
  • Not imitating the head basketball coach by using timeouts in football as they are in basketball
  • Accepting responsibility for offensive production, despite injuries and officiating mistakes
  • Need to not defend incompetent staff members' decisions and instead terminate incompetent staff, particularly on offense
  • In a northern climate, ability to comprehend weather conditions (such as sub-zero temperatures and 50+ mph winds) and its impact on the passing game
  • Understanding the needs for the football program over individual significant player desires, despite players' loyalty and desires
  • Direct an offense which can score a minimum of 17 points per game on offense in each game
Desired qualifications include:
  • Using at least 10+ years of experience to make split-second decisions without delay
  • If demanding loyalty as a "foxhole individual," surrounding oneself with individuals who can shoot to kill (aka "score") beyond the want of loyalty  
  • Recruiting talented athletes with a positive charisma and response to academic expectations

  • Coaching young minds as Division I-FBS athletes at an internationally respected academic institution.
  • Prioritizing athletes' education once admitted
  • Minimum salary of $500,000 per year, with dozens of free tickets, free car and transportation, membership at country club of your choice, $5,000 worth of khakis, unlimited free athletics gear, competitive medical benefits, and compensation bonuses for B1G Championship and CFP qualifications. 

Starting date:  Immediately, in time for the beginning of the Big Ten season opener - September 21, 2019.

For more information, please contact the MSU Athletics Department at 517-355-1630.

Friday, September 13, 2019

ES Preview: MSU Spartans vs Arizona St Sun Devils

#17 MSU Spartans (2-0) vs Special People (2-0)

September 14, 2019.  4 pm ET.
Spartan Stadium, East Lansing, MI

Weather:  73 & sunny. Winds: 11 mph out of the West

Sagarin Ratings:  MSU #7 (yes #7!), ASU #58.  Following his logic, Sparty should win by 23.
Vegas Line: MSU by 14-1/2


Last year, former Philly Eagles player-turned ESPN broadcaster-turned ASU coach Herman Edwards got his signature win courtesy of the Michigan State Spartans in an epic fail offensive offense debacle by Big Green... it was a premonition of the 2018 season.

Enough of the history.  ES likes the special teams of MSU (Hartbarger, Coughlin) and the defense of MSU as big-time pluses.  It will be a defensive game, this time with the Big Green on top.  Coach D, who will have most wins in MSU history, leads his press conference with this gem of a quote by Duffy:

"When you are playing for a national championship, it's not a matter of life or death.  It's more important than that."

What are they saying about their team, and about Michigan State, over in sunny & hot Arizona:  read it from the (ASU) State Press, or the Arizona Republic

  • Arizona Republic (from six different writers, 1 picks Az State):  MSU 35-10, MSU 24-10, MSU 35-13, MSU 28-17, ASU 21-20, MSU 24-10
  • CHock (in SFO): L, MSU 12 @ ASU 14
  • Mary Cote (in Sacto - mom of ES' grade school friends): MSU 24 v AZ State 7. Made up the score but just want AX to lose so Cal can stay #1 in Pac 12. LOL.
  • Cyn (in Pitt, at 'gate tomorrow): MSU wins!
  • Poke (Grand Ledge): Michigan State 27 Arizona State 10. I am looking for revenge after traveling to the Valley of the Sun last year for the loss.
  • Australia Paul (Queensland, Australia): MSU 21-20
  • Chef Tom (Glen Arbor): MSU ugly
  • RGM3 (Farm Hills):  MSU 33-11
  • Gregger (GVSU): MSU 34-23
  • Big Joe and Phantom 309 (metro Detroit):  MSU 35-30
  • Big Bob (Kazoo): MSU will be twice as gooder as last week so they will win 102-34
  • Keith (Pontiac): MSU 37-10
  • Oakland Ronnie (E Lansing): MSU 20-6
  • Brink (E Lansing): MSU 35-13
  • Greg, the Pie Man (E Lansing): MSU 24-17
  • Kat, the post-Brexit Queen of Scotland (now in Jackson):  MSU 24, ASU 10 ....
  • ES sez: MSU 17, ASU 9

Friday, September 06, 2019

MSU Spartans vs Kalamazoo Broncos

Michigan State (#19/20, 1-0/0-0) vs waterlogged Western Michigan (1-0/0-0)

Spartan Stadium, East Lansing, MI
Saturday, September 7, 2019.  7:30 pm ET
TV: Big Ten Network
Weather:  70 & cloudy, wind 10 mph WNW

Vegas Line:  MSU by 16

Jeff Sagarin Ratings/Line:  MSU #23, WMU #75.  MSU by 16

Are the Broncos or the Spartans under water?
The Enlightened Spartan has decided the permanence of the Spartans' offensive futility agAinst anyone!  This truly is Sparta 300.  Defend until the death.  Wait to be attacked.  Do not go on offense.  Prepare for Battle! The best thing for the Spartans?  Get the offense OFF the field.  They suck so bad - the defense can score more than the offense.

FYI - Top 5 rush defenses in the NCAA after week 1:
5.  Penn State = 4 ypg
4.  Central Florida = 4 ypg
3.  Maryland = 1 ypg
2.  Syracuse = -4 ypg
1.  Michigan State = -73 ypg

  • MLive:  MSU 34-7
  • Freep: MSU 27-7/MSU 17-7/MSU 24-10
  • DetNews: MSU 31-13/MSU 24-6/MSU 34-14/MSU 27-13
  • Big Joe and Phantom 309: MSU 21-6.
  • GVSU Gregger: MSU 35-10.
  • RGM3:  MSU 34-13
  • Chef Tom: Spartan Defense outscores Western 16-3.
  • Sloth: WMU wins, 2-0, when Salem calls a jet sweep out of his end zone.
  • Big Bob's prediction:  MSU 15-14.  "Ok. Enough of this retirement gibberish. My prediction for the game tomorrow: MSU kicks five FGs and wins 15-14. A pathetic way to win. Matt Coghlin goes on to score all of MSU’s points for the rest of the season and wins the Heisman trophy... If I had to sit in the stadium and watch this offense struggle to keep up with a MAC team, I’d gouge my eyes out. Better to watch it on TV, so when that happens, I can turn it off and walk away.
  • Kat:  MSU 17-3.
  • Australia Paul: 21-17 MSU
ES sez:  Spartan defense does its thang, and nearly pitches a shutout.  Offense struggles again, gives up a pick 6 - talk is cheap.... prove it!   MSU 24-10.