WANTED: NCAA DIVISION 1-FBS COACHING STAFF

MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY FOOTBALL
Michigan State University is accepting applications for a new coaching staff for its NCAA Division I-FBS football team.  Specific opportunities include:  Head Coach, Offensive Coordinator, position coaches (Offensive Line Coach, Wide Receivers Coach, Quarterbacks Coach).  It is requested applicants review video from the previous four (4) years of Michigan State football and its coaching decisions prior to application for the position.

Required qualifications include:

• Ability to take responsibility for substituting best talent with sub-par talent in key positions (e.g. RB, QB) on key plays (particularly 3rd & 4th Down)
• Understanding time management, particularly at the end of halves
• Not imitating the head basketball coach by using timeouts in football as they are in basketball
• Accepting responsibility for offensive production, despite injuries and officiating mistakes
• Need to not defend incompetent staff members' decisions and instead terminate incompetent staff, particularly on offense
• In a northern climate, ability to comprehend weather conditions (such as sub-zero temperatures and 50+ mph winds) and its impact on the passing game
• Understanding the needs for the football program over individual significant player desires, despite players' loyalty and desires
• Direct an offense which can score a minimum of 17 points per game on offense in each game

Desired qualifications include:

• Using at least 10+ years of experience to make split-second decisions without delay
• If demanding loyalty as a "foxhole individual," surrounding oneself with individuals who can shoot to kill (aka "score") beyond the want of loyalty  
• Recruiting talented athletes with a positive charisma and response to academic expectations

Benefits:

• Coaching young minds as Division I-FBS athletes at an internationally respected academic institution.
• Prioritizing athletes' education once admitted
• Minimum salary of $500,000 per year, with dozens of free tickets, free car and transportation, membership at country club of your choice, $5,000 worth of khakis, unlimited free athletics gear, competitive medical benefits, and compensation bonuses for B1G Championship and CFP qualifications. 

Starting date:  Immediately, in time for the beginning of the Big Ten season opener - September 21, 2019.

For more information, please contact the MSU Athletics Department at 517-355-1630.

Paul Bunyan returns home to EL

Yup. That is correct and official. Welcome home, buddy!

Once again, thank you Mike Hart.

Big Green is #21 and should be ranked ahead of that scUM we beat at craptown on Saturday. OK, bare with me.  The ES has not showered since Friday because of that dominating performance against the bastards from AA.  It's important to wear this victory a bit longer. Coach Dantonio has performed some good coaching jobs in his tenure... but this one against Jesus Harbaugh ranks at the top.  Coach D had a steady hand on the tiller through a driving rain storm - allowing Michigan to make the mistakes... and they did: 5 turnovers.  Good solid defensive effort by MSU.

The Spartans came ready to play.  Witness coach D's reaction after the game - go to 3:45:10 until a about 3:47:10 and turn up the volume.  Listen to this thing of beauty. Two minutes of sheer joy. He did not directly respond to a single question from the reporter and instead lectured her about the bus ride home. It's an absolute classic. "Let me tell you something about this bus ride home." And then he brings up Sherm Lewis for chrissakes. Incredible - unless you are a diehard Spartan, you got no idea. The ES has watched this 50 times today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeL4fQ9nV04

What say you?

Best call?  Well, there were several, particularly on defense.  However, the ES is going to point to the fake sweep reverse screen pass for a TD (go to 1:45).  You want perfection?  That was probably the best and most gorgeous screen the ES has ever seen.  Not only did it baffle scUM defense, but there was a convoy in front of Madre London with noone to block. Wow.

Yesterday, watching the Lions game at Reno's... and color commentator (and former Cowboy and Syracuse Orange) Darryl Johnston mentions "what about the Michigan State and Michigan game last night???"  WOOP WOOP!!!!!

It was an incredible game. In a monsoon in the 3rd quarter, MSU did what it needed to with a 14-3 lead: they held onto the ball.  scUM did not.  We deserved that win. Played really REALLY hard. Good good football. As good as it gets. Coach D was a genius yesterday - absolute master. One of his greatest coaching jobs.

Joe Bachie, B1G Player of the Week, played like a man possessed vs scUM

Who was the player of the game? While Lewerke played very well at QB for the Spartans, Joe Bachie (#35) was EVERYWHERE on defense, with 10 tackles, a sack, a forced fumble, and an INT in the monsoon.  Awesome performance.  He played deep safety on the last play of the game and recorded a PBU, knocking the ball down.   He is easily the B1G Ten Defensive Player of the Week. Get this - on the season - he already has 44 tackles, 2 sacks, a fumble recovery, an INT, a forced fumble, and 2 PBUs. What???? 44 tackles? Jesus, he is on pace to have 120 tackles this year. What????

It's amazing how Mike Hart's "little brother" comments continue to haunt scUM.  Nearly every year, the same thing, a victory over the little people from Ann Arbor.

Post-game press conferences are a must.  Jesus Harbaugh showed why yesterday.  The $9 million man was morose.

Always remember: "The pride comes before the fall."  Thank you, Coach D.

Next up:  a tough roadie at Minnesota (3-2/0-2), which lost 31-17 at Purdue on Saturday.