Wahoo! Ugly Chickens - Check. 14-pt dog to Khakis? Check The Enlightened Spartan: Wahoo! Ugly Chickens - Check. 14-pt dog to Khakis? Check

Monday, October 02, 2017

Wahoo! Ugly Chickens - Check. 14-pt dog to Khakis? Check

OK.  Bring on Big Blue. Thanks sweet Jesus the Big Green defeated the Ugly Chickens from Iowa, otherwise we'd be a 28-pt dog to God.  But, MSU was victorious, and as such, the Touchdown Machine is just a 2-TD underdog to the Ann Arborites.

Bring on Jesus. 
Whew.  The ES figures life was over.  A few take aways from the 17-10  victory over Iowa are below for your consumption.

First the positives:

1.  The Spartan defense is pretty damn good.  The interior defense is far better than advertised.  And, the ES is digging on LB Joe Bachie - he is everywhere.  Everywhere. You'd think Bachie was either a CNN reporter waiting to pounce on Trump or the ghost of Hugh Heffner waiting to pounce on anything moving.

2.  +2 on the TO parade.  LJ Scott hung onto the ball as the only real threat on the ground all day, and he didn't cough up anything.  He should carry that pigskin around campus for the rest of the year.

3.  Felton Davis.  Ahem, we now have a go-to target.  Davis caught nine beautiful balls for 114 yards and 2 TDs - including a leaping goregous-dreadlock catch.  His bud, C, a waitress here at Reno's... was bragging about him to the ES on Sunday.  "My besty... He was killing it!"  Indeed.

4.  Hartbarger.  The Spartan punter just delivered an all-conference performance against Iowa.  MSU dominated, but parce que incompetence of Dave Warner's play calling (see below), the Spartans just couldn't put the game away.  After the ES was done berating Warner, Jake Hartbarger did better and  dropped all five of his Spartan punts inside the 20 -- this includes one of three punts late in the 4th when, over and over and over again, Hartbarger punted as a result of back-to-back false start and delay of game penalties by #2 Justin Layne (and he still stayed in the game after both penalties on the same play).  Give Hartbarger credit, no thanks to his teammate.  His performance was certainly worthy of B1G Player of the Week.

5.  Spartan DBs played... Lights out.  Playing fantastic.  Really tight coverage.  Surprisingly impressive performance.

Now, let the bitching commence.

Coaches:  Get with it!
Dave Warner should be fired immediately.  Coach Dantonio has too much loyalty... but the ES was up in row 125, turning around and screaming at the coaches ("time for a change"???? YES!) next to the press box 'cause:

1.  Iowa fake field goal could be spotted from the moon.  Why didn't Coach D call a time-out?  Just not thinking.  Weird - he's better than that.  Brain fart.

2.  Just a few examples of the garbage crap from offensive coordinator Dave Warner:

    2a.  Don't understand why, early in the 4th, one would throw a long pass out of the shotgun on a 3rd-and-1 while at the Iowa 30.  Confounding.  Led to a missed field goal.  Dumb.

    2b.  With 4:47 to go, on the Iowa 40, on 3rd-and-8, why throw an interior slant. ????  Burn clock???  Duh???

    2c.  With 3:38 to go, 2nd and 10, running the pitch-reverse.  Stupid.  Can lead to a disaster and noone was fooled.  Completely unnecessary.  It's bush-league, John-L-Smith type play-calling.

    2d.  About 6:00 left in the third quarter... two straight runs with an ineffective Madre London straight up the middle. London running useless, so...  bring in LJ Scott, and the same thing.  Loss on downs.  What is wrong with you, Warner?  A glutton for punishment?

3.  Madre London looked like his namesake.  Give his lethargic tail some more fried fish and chips.  Put him on a boat back to see the Queen.

4.  Matt Coughlin, our FG kicker, is not very good.  Just an FYI.

I'M DONE.  Talk to you later.