ES Preview: Pinstripe Bowl vs Wake Forest

Michigan State Spartans (6-6/4-5) vs 

Wake Forest Demon Deacons (8-4/4-4)

December 27, 2019.  3:20 pm ET.
TV: ESPN
Pinstripe Bowl. Yankee Stadium, New York City
Weather: 52, cloudy.

Sagarin Rankings:  MSU #37, Wake Forest #58
Vegas Line:  MSU by 4

The Spartans rang the opening bell at the NYSE on Dec. 26. 
Their stock this year was disappointing.

Well before the bowl selection show on December 8, the Michigan State Spartans knew they would be slotted to play in a baseball stadium as their final game of the year.  MSU football's statistical rankings compare similarly to that of the Detroit Tigers - for instance, the Tigers losing 114 games in 2019, and the Spartans ranked 107th in scoring offense in the NCAA.

NY Yankee's Randy Levine

New York Yankee president Randy Levine expanded on why the Yankees fought hard to outbid other outstanding bowl competition from the Quick Lane Bowl, Cheeze-It Bowl, Camping World Bowl, and others: "We learned our mistakes back in the Gotham Bowl in 1962: too much offense," said Levine. "The New York Yankees now have a laser focus to find at least one team that best resembles the scoring output of our Yankee team - last year, the Yankees scored nearly six runs a game [5.8], and Michigan State's scoring output is a proper fit."

One particular bowl stood out in Levine's comments in trying to land the Spartans: "As a historically successful franchise, we used our tough negotiation tactics with the Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl to land the Spartans," added Levine.  "As a compromise, Titus (O'Neill, the Gasparilla Bowl Chairman) said we'd have to also select an unknown basketball school.  Wake Forest was the obvious other choice."

The Yankee organization released information with further notes on why they worked so hard to select Michigan State, comparing the team with similarities to the Detroit Tigers: the Tigers being sued for wrongful termination, the Tigers finishing last in scoring in the AL, the Tigers sporting ugly uniforms; and, the Spartans being sued for wrongful termination, the Spartans finishing last in scoring among true Big Ten teams, the Spartans sporting ugly uniforms.

"The bowl selection process worked as well as it ever has," concluded Levine.

Steely Dan is to perform "Deacon Blues" at halftime.

Baseball yes, football no? Yes, Yankee Stadium was meant to be for today's matchup.  Today's starting lineup:

P - Brian Lewerke
SS - Cody White
1B - Elijah Colins
2B - Jalen Nailor
3B - Matt Seybert
LF - Josiah Scott
CF - Kenny Willikes
RF - Tyriq Thompson
DH - Raequan Williams
Bullpen - Rocky Lombardi, Theo Day

Outlook:  The ES expects Brian Lewerke to have several wild pitches in this game, as he has for much of the season.  If Lewerke can get the ball over the plate on a regular basis, unfortunately we can expect many errors from Spartan fielding, with drops by Collins, Nailor, White, and Seybert leading the Big Ten this season.  At the plate, Raequan Williams and Kenny Willikes have also been a disappointment with few home runs in big games, registering just one sack each against nationally-ranked competition in 2019.  Godforbid the Spartans actually get to their Detroit Tiger-inspired bullpen, with incompetent pitching of backups Rocky Lombardi and Theo Day.  In sum,  expect an error-filled, offensively offensive game from the Spartans.

Predictions:

Smig:  Rutgers wins in the cold
Big Bob: Lewerke throws for 637 yards and the Spartans win 52-0.
Oakland Ronnie: Wake forest wins 45-24 all points coming from Theo day entry into the game in the third quarter on.
RGM3: MSU 24-21. Game winning fg as time expires.  Theo Day throws for 180 and 2 TDs.
Big Joe and Phantom 309: MSU 27-14
GVSU Gregger:  MSU 21-17
The Duchess of Kirkaldy:  Wake 27-14

ES sez:  Wake 27-17

ES Preview: Thank God This Season is Over

MSU Spartans (5-6/3-5) vs Maryland Terrapins (3-8/1-7)
November 30, 2019.  3:30 pm.
Spartan Stadium, East Lansing, MI

TV:  FS1
Weather: 36 cloudy, wind 11 mph from the East

Sagarin Ratings:  MSU #34, Maryland #99
Vegas Line: MSU by 22 1/2

Instead of watching this crap, the ES is will be at the theatre
watching Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.

Predictions:

MSU sucks.  Maryland sucks lots worse.  End of season. This season has been a waste of my time and energy.  Next loss: Quick Lane Bowl, Detroit, vs Central Michigan.  December 26.  8 pm ET.

ES sez:  Michigan State wins 21 - 10.

ES Preview: The Toilet Bowl

MSU Spartans (4-6/2-5) at Rutgers Scarlet Knights (2-8/0-7)

November 23, 2019
12 noon ET
SHI Stadium, New Brunswick, NJ

TV:  Fox Sports 1
Weather: 45 and sunny

Sagarin Ratings:  MSU #37, Rutgers #134
Vegas Line:  MSU by 21.

What it looks like playing Rutgers for the bottom of the B1G

Coach Dantonio stated this week that he intends to stick around for another year.  Yay.  How exciting.  That means the ES will not renew his season tickets - the ES won't witness more of his garbage on grass. Hopefully new AD Bill Beekman will smell the coffee and make a call to Pat Narduzzi at Pitt to beg him to return to East Lansing and rebuild what his old boss has so methodically ruined.

MSU by 21?  What a joke.  MSU can barely score 10, let alone 21.  Remember last year?  MSU won, 14-10.  Expect something similar.  Note:  The ES almost hit the nail on the head last week, prediction of 41-10 scUM vs 44-10 actual.

Predictions:

RGM3: Rutgers 35-7
Greg:  MSU gets back on track
Big Joe and Phantom 309:  MSU 27-24
Sloth:  Beekman & Dantonio 60, Sloth 0.
Australian Paul:  MSU 28-3
Chef Tom:  Maryland by 14.  LOL.
Oakland Ronnie: 34-31 MSU game winning field goal gets missed but a flag is thrown and gets attempted again successfully
Kat:  MSU 3-0.

ES sez:  MSU 20-14.

Thank you, sir. May I have another?

MSU Spartans (4-5/2-4) vs Michigan Wolverines (8-2/4-2)
Michigan Stadium, Ann Arbor, MI
November 16, 2019. 9 am Pacific Time.

Weather:  does it matter?

Sagarin Ratings: MSU #30, scUM #11
Vegas Line: scUM by 13-1/2

Prognostications:

Thank God the ES is visiting his pops in Gig Harbor, Washington State.  Thusly, the game is at 9 am. The whole day to enjoy with family after the ass kicking from scUM!

Tomorrow will be yet another poor showing - this time against the Evil Empire. Make it 5 losses in a row. This coach, Mark Dantonio, is clueless and relies on buffoons to coach the walking wounded. 'Tis clear as day: point to consistent years of poor substitutions and curiously poor clock management. Not to mention poor execution. Unfortunately, Coach Dantonio is using the playbook from John L Smith.  Only God knows why.

Against Michigan, a day at the woodshed will be the icing on the cake for Dantonio’s departure.

It’s the end of the world as we know it. And I feel fine.  Thank you sir, may I have another?

• Sloth: Dantonio is fired by Monday morning. F**k that asshole.
• Cam: I probably wasted 100 dollars on a ticket
• Keith: pset....sparty wins. . Because thats what happens when everybody loses hope. Naaaahhhh. Were gonna get killed.
• Chock: scUM 10, MSU 6
• Smig: I predict a bloodbath.
• RGM3: 2-0 Michigan. Another sad day in paradise. Hopefully dantonio tells the players he’s retiring at the end of the season tomorrow in his pregame speech and gets the boys ready for one more Michigan game for him.
• GVSU Gregger: 34-10 Michigan.
• Big Joe and Phantom 309: 30-24 MSU blocks a game winning FG for scUM and runs it back for a TD as time expires.
• Australian Paul:  MSU 21-7
• Mike (ES’ Dad): scUM 28-7
• Queen Kat, Duchess of Kirkcaldy: scUM 21-10

ES sez: scUM 41-10

ES Preview: Getting Worse vs Rapidly Improving

MSU Spartans (4-4/2-3) vs Illinois Fighting Illini (5-4/3-3)
Spartan Stadium
East Lansing, MI.  3:30 pm ET.
November 9, 2019

Weather: 41 partly cloudy.  Winds: 11 ssw.

Vegas Line:  MSU by 14-1/2 (yes, they are smoking crack in Sin City)
Sagarin Ratings: MSU #23, Illinois #77 (Jeff Sagarin in high on the pipe, too)

A mantra of football is that your team is supposed to get better as the season goes along.  That certainly is happening with Illinois; but the Spartans are going in the complete opposite direction, dropping like a rock.

Bum Phillips gave the ultimate compliment to good coaching: 

"He can beat his'n with your'n.  And he can beat your'n with his'n."

The one and only Bum Phillips, telling it like it is

Well, Bum certainly was not talking about coach Dantonio, who can't beat anyone with anyone's talent.  It has been a very disappointing season of playcalling on both sides of the ball, missed assignments, lack of a pass rush, dropped passes, poor quarterbacking.

Expect that to continue today vs the Illini:  until things fundamentally change, don't expect any Spartan improvement.  FYI: Illinois beat Wisconsin.  MSU lost to Wisconsin, 38-0.  'Nuff said.

Prognostications:

CHock:  MSU 12-10
Keith: MSU loses
Big Bob:  ILL 17-10
Sloth: 40,000 empty seats, and a lot of boos. 27-6, tRed Granges.
RGM3: 27-10 MSU. We somehow cover.
Big Joe and Phantom 309: 14-6. The defense remains stout and the offense manages to score one TD.
GVSU Gregger: MSU 21-17
Queen Kat:  MSU 17-10

ES sez:  Illinois 21, MSU 17.

ES Preview: Time to Retire vs the Undefeated

MSU Spartans (4-3/2-2) vs #6 Penn State Nittany Lions (7-0/4-0)
October 26, 2019.  3:30 pm ET
Spartan Stadium, East Lansing, MI
TV:  ABC
Weather:  49 and rain.  Wind: 10 mph from the East

Sagarin Ratings:  MSU #21 (???), Penn State #6
Vegas Line:  Penn State by 5

Penn State gonna twist up Sparty like a pretzel

It hurts to write this but, gotta be honest with this preview:

In the wet and cold rain, with an ineffective Spartan passing game going up against a staunch defense in Penn State, the Spartan Nation can expect the soggy, butterfinger Spartans to forgo the run and pass themselves to defeat.  The season got ugly two games ago, and it's just getting worse...

Prognostications:

Australian Paul:  MSU 28-24
Poke: 90% chance of rain for the entire game. 6-0 for whichever team recovers a muffed punt inside the 20 yard line.
Chris Zech:  PSU 43-8
Big Joe and Phantom 309: 31-17
GVSU Gregger: 27-10 PSU
RGM3: 24-21 green and white guys
Big Bob:  PSU 98-3
Sloth:  I will hate Dantonio even more
C Hock:  PSU 7-6
Kat:  still sleeping

ES sez:  PSU 28-7 

Time for Dantonio to retire

Ahhhh. What it is, to have $50 million in the bank, with a Rose Bowl victory, three Big Ten titles, a berth in the CFP playoff, and the winningest coach in school history.  The roses smell sweeter each year, the farther away you are from them. 

MSU Spartan football coach Mark Dantonio, in his back-to-back shellackings vs Ohio State and Wisconsin, and especially the 38-0 whitewash against the Badgers, should be wanting of the sweet sands of Hawaii, or Samoa, or wherever the hell is warmer than Michigan in mid-November to get a fun suntan.

Coach D has lost his mojo. 

And, yes, coach D, YOU are the dumbass for not firing incompetent staff. The ass-kicking loss to Wisconsin puts MSU in the crosshairs of yet another 7-6/6-7/mediocre/whatever season reminiscent of John L Smith and Bobby Williams.  Getting your ass kicked 38-0 ain't fun when you can't get more than two first downs in three quarters and your QB is not confident enough to throw the ball farther than 10 yards because of the landslide of a pass rush he is facing. Boy, this is similar to the end of the Duffy era... just kinda lost focus and steam.

Coach D - you are a defensive guru?  What happened to GOOD TACKLING and good PASS COVERAGE?  The "No Fly Zone" is now the "Target and Bomb Zone" with safeties unable to cover and make plays on bobbling balls.  That guy, Joe Bachie - your LB premiere - is missing gaps and missing tackles as if he was trying to jump at my puppy, Dolly Parton, in the back yard.  He couldn't tackle my dead grandma at his rate.  Tell him, and his vanishing roommate, Kenny Willikes, to suck down more spinach shakes. At least they are punishing themselves for their play with terrible taste in  food choice.

The ES is tired.  All of the incompetence from the last four (4) seasons is apparent.  Zero or one yard on first down means a pass on second (incomplete) which means a pass on third (sack/incomplete).  There are no interesting wrinkles.  Telegraphing and then running a jet sweep to the defense on second and long is dumb.  Your quarterback CAN'T LOOK ANYWHERE BUT ONE DIRECTION - where is the coaching? Lewerke looks lost, he can't look off any receivers.  Look at the tape. 

Where we, the Spartan Nation, are now is three years in the making.  Nebraska, Ohio State, Michigan, Maryland, Rutgers, Oregon, Arizona State, etc.  It will not change.  It is consistently bad coaching and poor execution.  Accountability is paramount.  Coach Dantonio - will you PLEASE FIRE SOMEONE?  Because you can't... you don't have the will (the cahunas) to get rid of dead weight on your staff.

You are a "foxhole guy"?  Dantonio, you are loyal to a fault.  Get someone loyal who can SHOOT AND HIT!!!!  Or, leave us and go to the islands - you have been provided a good furlough.  See you in Fiji, PLEASE!

ES Preview: We don't need no stinkin' Badgers

Michigan State Spartans (4-2/2-1) at #8 Wisconsin Badgers (5-0/2-0)
Camp Randall Stadium, Madison, WI
October 12, 2019.  3:30 pm ET.
TV:  BTN
Weather: 48/cloudy.  It's windy - 19 mph SW

We don't need no stinkin' Badgers!

Line outta Vegas:  Wisky by 10
Sagarin Ratings:  MSU #15, Wisky #6

Prognostications:

Well, it's going to be cold and windy.  So, expect the Big Green to give up the running game and start throwing the ball into the wind, to be picked off time and again by the nation's #1 defense in Wisky (179 ypg).  Which means the nation's #2 ground gainer, Wisky's Jonathan Taylor (149 ypg), may just dice up this Spartan defense which  struggled against the run against Ohio State.

Sigh.  Saw this game last year in the agonizing RedBox bowl game, a 7-6 loss.  At least the ES is going to the Big D (Ole Shellelagh) to witness the slaughter... and go check out a winner - the 3-1 Detroit Red Wings vs the Toronto Maple Leafs!

• Wisconsin State Journal: Wisky 21-13
• Australian Paul:  MSU 14-10.
• RGM3: Wisky 21-13.
• Big Joe and Phantom 309: Wisky 35-6
• GVSU Gregger: Wisky 28-10. 
• Chris Zech:  Wisky 37-24.  Whiskey in a Jar.
• Chef Tom (Glen Arbor): Straight Whiskey.
• Eric J-A (Madison): Wisconsin 24-10. I will be at the game cheering for Bucky and empathizing with State fans. MSU wins only via injury or turnovers.
• Doc: MSU 16-13. ES is so drunk by halftime, he misses Sparty pull it out.
• Oakland Ronnie: MSU 23-10.
• Keith: Wisky 24-10.
• Carter (Bay Area, Cali): Wisky 35-14.
• CHock (San Francisco): Wisky 12-6.
• Sloth (Pittsburgh): Wisky 31-0.
• Big Bob (Kzoo): Wisky 31-17.
• The Future Queen of Scotland, Brexit Deal Be Damned (Detroit): Wisky 31-27.

ES sez...  Sparty 7, Wisky 21.  The march to greatness ends. 

ES Preview: Big Green vs Ugly Fans

Yup, misplaced priorities in Columbus. 
And, nope Oscar Meyer is a wiener, not a president. Poor kid. 

#25 MSU Spartans (4-1/2-0) at #4 Ohio State (5-0/2-0)
October 5, 2019. 7:30 pm ET.
Ohio Stadium, Columbus, OH

TV: ABC-TV
Weather: 70/partly cloudy.  No real wind.

Vegas Line: Ohio State by 20.
What does Sagarin say? MSU #16... OSU #1

The ES woke up and took the dog outside to crap.  Instead, dog crapped in the house.  Nice. Then, put on a hat, get in the car, and stand in line to get Hinkley's Donuts for his gal.  Line was too long, so chocolate muffins from Cafe Lilla instead.  Working on window installation.  Where is my football?????  Well, time to publish this puppy and focus on Ohio State.

The ES hates Ohio State, some of the rudest fans ever - especially at the Big Ten Championship Game. The ES hopes we kick their arse.

Predictions:

• Cleveland Plain Dealer: OSU 45-10, OSU 41-14, OSU 36-13
• Freep:  OSU 31-16
• Sergio: State a little Ohio a lot
• Doc: Sparty 31, Hairless Nuts 17
• Oakland Ronnie: MSU 18, osu 13. couches will burn.
• Poke: Drink heavily...
• Andy Sensoli: Depends on if there's a rain storm or not. OSU if it's a clear day. By 18 points. 31-13.
• The Queen of Scotland: I predict I will not be anywhere near the ES after 7pm Saturday night:)
• Australian Paul:  MSU 18-14 (9 safties, wow!)
• Ruf (Thailand): Buckeyes 38-9
• Keith: 21-20 MSU
• CHock (San Francisco): OSU 17-6
• Sloth: tOSU 45-6; I predict the game will later be vacated due to NCAA sanctions leveled against Terra Community College.

ES sez:  Ohio State 24, Michigan State 14.

Magic Johnson vs John Cougar Mellancamp

#25 MSU Spartans (3-1/1-0) host Indiana Hoosiers (3-1/0-1)
Sept. 28, 2019.  3:30 pm ET.
East Lansing, MI - Spartan Stadium

TV:  BTN
Weather:  65 cloudy, wind NNE 8.

Sagarin Ratings: MSU #19, Indy #60
Line outta Vegas: MSU by 14

What the hell is going on?  MSU scores a phenomenal 7 points against Arizona State, despite the coaches doing everything to pitch a shut out.  Then, they come out and rip Northwestern 31-10?  ?? This is one up-and-down team.  At least we know the Spartan defense will show up...  hopefully they can score.

Luckily for the Hoosiers, the MSU Homecoming Parade was cancelled due to a thunderbolt storm last night - and the skies are clear today to have the game.

Predictions:

J Rand (Nashville): MSU 42-17
Big Bob (Kzoo): MSU 21-20
Sloth (Pittsburgh): MSU 6-3
CHock (San Fran): MSU 17-16
GVSU Gregger (GVSU): MSU 21-14
RGM3 (metro D): MSU 28-10
Big Joe and Phantom 309: MSU 28-3
The Queen of Scotland (Jackson): Who gives a shit? Indiana 17-13

ES sez... MSU 20, Indiana 10.

No Offense vs. Good Coaching

Coach D and the Spartans

MSU Spartans (2-1/0-0) vs Northwestern Wildcats (1-1/0-0)
Ryan Field, Evanston, IL
September 21, 2019,  Noon ET.
TV: ABC

Line:  MSU by 8-1/2?  They're smoking dope in Vegas

Sagarin Ratings:  MSU #15, Northwestern #57

In East Lansing, John L. Smith has returned to overthink the offense.  Why play your best running back (Collins) at the most important times?  Naaahhh, let's substitute him with someone (Hayward) who can't juke past a dying rhino.  Better yet, when we have time, let's run a Chinese fire-drill with time ticking down to kick a field goal... instead of spiking the ball to give the team more time!

This coach we have is being paid very well.  $4.39 million dollars this year, to be exact.  Yet, the Dr. of Excuses says "everything is happening real time, very fast" can't use his experience to save our skins.  Throwing the ball in 50 mph winds in a bowl game (RedBox), or ditching an effective run game to pass in sub-zero temperatures in BFE Nebraska, or switching to your backup QB on 4th down to run into a pile (Tulsa), or mismanaging the entire season by playing a hurt QB...  This is getting old.

As said countless times: MSU is is going to WASTE another dominating defense because of stupid coaching on the offense.  This is an average team at best. Coach Dantonio has lost his way.
 https://www.mlive.com/sports/2019/09/michigan-state-in-danger-of-wasting-another-dominant-defense-as-2018-season-seems-to-roll-on.html

Coach Fitzpatrick is EXACTLY what you want in a coach.  Putting his best players on the field at the best time and giving his players the best opportunities to win.  Our coach, takes our best players out and overthinks himself.  What happened to Coach D?  His trick plays?  Coaching up 3-star recruits?  He seems lost.

This hurts to write this, but it is true.  He didn't fire anyone.  Dr. Excuses, the "foxhole" guy will be loyal to the point of losing.  And, he has lost this faithful Spartan.

8-1/2 point favorites?   Shit, we can't even score more than 7.

Predictions:

• Big Joe & Phantom 309 (metro D): 12-10 MSU the offense scores 3 points and the defense gets a TD and a safety to secure the game
• GVSU Gregger (Gr Rapids):  MSU 24-17
• RGM3 (Farm Hills): MSU 21-10
• The Queen of Scotland (NY, NY):  AWOL
• J Dog (Clarkston): MSU 17-13 in OT
• CHock (San Francisco, CA):  NW 28-24
• Keith (Pontiac):  MSU 20-17
• Sloth (Pittsburgh, PA):  Frustration
• Smig (Santa Rosa, CA): NW 14-3
• Big Bob (Kzoo): NW 20-14. MSU’s offense will be twice as gooderer at moving the ball between the 20 yard lines as last week, so they will generate 808 yards of offense and lose the game 20-14. CHOCK response: "How the fuck will they ever score 14 points Big Bob? 6 Point Mark's offense is fine tuned for 2 made field goals (except last week, substitute 1 made TF... about the same)." BIG BOB response: "Easy. The D will have to score the 2nd TD."

ES (en route to be with J in Clarkston):  NW 10-6

WANTED: NCAA DIVISION 1-FBS COACHING STAFF

MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY FOOTBALL
Michigan State University is accepting applications for a new coaching staff for its NCAA Division I-FBS football team.  Specific opportunities include:  Head Coach, Offensive Coordinator, position coaches (Offensive Line Coach, Wide Receivers Coach, Quarterbacks Coach).  It is requested applicants review video from the previous four (4) years of Michigan State football and its coaching decisions prior to application for the position.

Required qualifications include:

• Ability to take responsibility for substituting best talent with sub-par talent in key positions (e.g. RB, QB) on key plays (particularly 3rd & 4th Down)
• Understanding time management, particularly at the end of halves
• Not imitating the head basketball coach by using timeouts in football as they are in basketball
• Accepting responsibility for offensive production, despite injuries and officiating mistakes
• Need to not defend incompetent staff members' decisions and instead terminate incompetent staff, particularly on offense
• In a northern climate, ability to comprehend weather conditions (such as sub-zero temperatures and 50+ mph winds) and its impact on the passing game
• Understanding the needs for the football program over individual significant player desires, despite players' loyalty and desires
• Direct an offense which can score a minimum of 17 points per game on offense in each game

Desired qualifications include:

• Using at least 10+ years of experience to make split-second decisions without delay
• If demanding loyalty as a "foxhole individual," surrounding oneself with individuals who can shoot to kill (aka "score") beyond the want of loyalty  
• Recruiting talented athletes with a positive charisma and response to academic expectations

Benefits:

• Coaching young minds as Division I-FBS athletes at an internationally respected academic institution.
• Prioritizing athletes' education once admitted
• Minimum salary of $500,000 per year, with dozens of free tickets, free car and transportation, membership at country club of your choice, $5,000 worth of khakis, unlimited free athletics gear, competitive medical benefits, and compensation bonuses for B1G Championship and CFP qualifications. 

Starting date:  Immediately, in time for the beginning of the Big Ten season opener - September 21, 2019.

For more information, please contact the MSU Athletics Department at 517-355-1630.

ES Preview: MSU Spartans vs Arizona St Sun Devils

#17 MSU Spartans (2-0) vs Special People (2-0)

September 14, 2019.  4 pm ET.
Spartan Stadium, East Lansing, MI

Weather:  73 & sunny. Winds: 11 mph out of the West

Sagarin Ratings:  MSU #7 (yes #7!), ASU #58.  Following his logic, Sparty should win by 23.
Vegas Line: MSU by 14-1/2

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY FOR FOOTBALL!  SUNNY, WARM SKIES THROUGHOUT THE GAME! 

Last year, former Philly Eagles player-turned ESPN broadcaster-turned ASU coach Herman Edwards got his signature win courtesy of the Michigan State Spartans in an epic fail offensive offense debacle by Big Green... it was a premonition of the 2018 season.

Enough of the history.  ES likes the special teams of MSU (Hartbarger, Coughlin) and the defense of MSU as big-time pluses.  It will be a defensive game, this time with the Big Green on top.  Coach D, who will have most wins in MSU history, leads his press conference with this gem of a quote by Duffy:

"When you are playing for a national championship, it's not a matter of life or death.  It's more important than that."

What are they saying about their team, and about Michigan State, over in sunny & hot Arizona:  read it from the (ASU) State Press, or the Arizona Republic

Prognostications:

• Arizona Republic (from six different writers, 1 picks Az State):  MSU 35-10, MSU 24-10, MSU 35-13, MSU 28-17, ASU 21-20, MSU 24-10
• CHock (in SFO): L, MSU 12 @ ASU 14
• Mary Cote (in Sacto - mom of ES' grade school friends): MSU 24 v AZ State 7. Made up the score but just want AX to lose so Cal can stay #1 in Pac 12. LOL.
• Cyn (in Pitt, at 'gate tomorrow): MSU wins!
• Poke (Grand Ledge): Michigan State 27 Arizona State 10. I am looking for revenge after traveling to the Valley of the Sun last year for the loss.
• Australia Paul (Queensland, Australia): MSU 21-20
• Chef Tom (Glen Arbor): MSU ugly
• RGM3 (Farm Hills):  MSU 33-11
• Gregger (GVSU): MSU 34-23
• Big Joe and Phantom 309 (metro Detroit):  MSU 35-30
• Big Bob (Kazoo): MSU will be twice as gooder as last week so they will win 102-34
• Keith (Pontiac): MSU 37-10
• Oakland Ronnie (E Lansing): MSU 20-6
• Brink (E Lansing): MSU 35-13
• Greg, the Pie Man (E Lansing): MSU 24-17
• Kat, the post-Brexit Queen of Scotland (now in Jackson):  MSU 24, ASU 10 ....
• ES sez: MSU 17, ASU 9

MSU Spartans vs Kalamazoo Broncos

Michigan State (#19/20, 1-0/0-0) vs waterlogged Western Michigan (1-0/0-0)

Spartan Stadium, East Lansing, MI
Saturday, September 7, 2019.  7:30 pm ET
TV: Big Ten Network
Weather:  70 & cloudy, wind 10 mph WNW

Vegas Line:  MSU by 16

Jeff Sagarin Ratings/Line:  MSU #23, WMU #75.  MSU by 16

Are the Broncos or the Spartans under water?

The Enlightened Spartan has decided the permanence of the Spartans' offensive futility agAinst anyone!  This truly is Sparta 300.  Defend until the death.  Wait to be attacked.  Do not go on offense.  Prepare for Battle! The best thing for the Spartans?  Get the offense OFF the field.  They suck so bad - the defense can score more than the offense.

FYI - Top 5 rush defenses in the NCAA after week 1:
5.  Penn State = 4 ypg
4.  Central Florida = 4 ypg
3.  Maryland = 1 ypg
2.  Syracuse = -4 ypg
1.  Michigan State = -73 ypg

Prognostications:

• MLive:  MSU 34-7
• Freep: MSU 27-7/MSU 17-7/MSU 24-10
• DetNews: MSU 31-13/MSU 24-6/MSU 34-14/MSU 27-13
• Big Joe and Phantom 309: MSU 21-6.
• GVSU Gregger: MSU 35-10.
• RGM3:  MSU 34-13
• Chef Tom: Spartan Defense outscores Western 16-3.
• Sloth: WMU wins, 2-0, when Salem calls a jet sweep out of his end zone.
• Big Bob's prediction:  MSU 15-14.  "Ok. Enough of this retirement gibberish. My prediction for the game tomorrow: MSU kicks five FGs and wins 15-14. A pathetic way to win. Matt Coghlin goes on to score all of MSU’s points for the rest of the season and wins the Heisman trophy... If I had to sit in the stadium and watch this offense struggle to keep up with a MAC team, I’d gouge my eyes out. Better to watch it on TV, so when that happens, I can turn it off and walk away.
• Kat:  MSU 17-3.
• Australia Paul: 21-17 MSU

ES sez:  Spartan defense does its thang, and nearly pitches a shutout.  Offense struggles again, gives up a pick 6 - talk is cheap.... prove it!   MSU 24-10.

ES Preview: MSU Spartans host Tulsa Time

Michigan State Spartans (0-0, #18/20) vs Don Williams, The Gentle Giant (0-0)

Spartan Stadium, East Lansing, MI
August 30, 2019.  7 pm ET
TV:  Fox Sports 1
Weather: 72, partly cloudy, 8 mph wind WNW

Sagarin Ratings:  MSU #20,  Tulsa #111.  Projected margin of victory:  MSU by 25
Line outta Vegas:  MSU by 23 1/2

Never been to Tulsa.  The ES has been to Oklahoma - actually Norman, OK for an interview at the Univ of Oklahoma (ugly) where a tornado blast through the town, hitting the ES with hail on his 2012 visit.  Didn't care for the state then, and don't care today - especially today.

The Tulsa Hurricanes waltz into town coming off a 3-9 season.  Let's do a little quiz:

1.  What conference is Tulsa in?  a) Sun Belt b) AAC c) Independent d) Conference USA e) Big 12.
2.  Did former Ohio State Coach John Cooper really win five consecutive conference championships as coach at Tulsa?  a) Duh b) Nope
3.  Tulsa is a girls' school.  It is, or it was.   a) True  b) False
4.  Which infamous songwriter has an archive at U Tulsa?  (hint: "to be stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis blues again")

Answers at the bottom of the post.

Predictions for today's stint:

Tulsa World (newspaper): MSU 30-14
Sloth:  Sunny, warm, and drunk
Big Bob:  MSU 7-2.  MSU will win 7-2 with the defense scoring the only TD in the game. Rocky Balboa will be sacked in his own end zone, giving up 2 points in his only series in the game.
RGM3:  MSU 38-10
Oakland Ronnie:  MSU 42-10
GVSU Gregger:  MSU 34-17
Freep:  MSU 33-6
Wojo/Det News:  MSU 30-9
Sensoli: Dantonio is going to switch around his coaching staff again......42-14 MSU
Kat:  still sleeping...

ES sez:  MSU 30-6






Answers (ES tried to turn the font upside down, but that's out of his league in HTML):

1.  b) American Athletic Conference (AAC). Have not.
2.  a) Yes, he did.  Mr. Cooper is a member of the College FB Hall of Fame, he is.
3.  a) True. If you're from Tulsa, you don't smoke marijuana but you're proud to be an Okie from Muskogee.  From Wiki: The Presbyterian School for Girls (also known as "Minerva Home") was founded in Muskogee, Indian Territory, in 1882 to offer a primary education to young women of the Creek Nation.  The Tulsa Chamber of Commerce bought the school for $100k in 1907 with 20 acres of land to relocate it.

4.  Noble Prize winner for Literature, Bob Dylan.  See the archives.  Even so, still don't wanna go back to Oklahoma. 

ES Foxhole Preview of your Michigan State Spartans

2019 FOXHOLE edition of the ES Season Preview of the MSU Spartans

ES been prevewin' since 2001 - beat that!

No, coach D didn't fire Dave Warner, with a lame excuse.  "I'm a foxhole guy," he said, noting loyalty.  And we all know coach D is TOO LOYAL (coach Warner, QBs Maxwell, O'Connor, and even Lewerke with injury)... As Sloth noted, "if I'm in a foxhole, I want someone who can shoot."  Umm, yeah, maybe Dantonio had a bad metaphor. 

That said, there's one bright spot:  the offense can't get any worse.  Another bright spot:  the defense should, once again, rank as the best in the country.   With the worst offense and best defense, Big Green ended up, predictably, 7-6 last year.  

Will the bright uniforms lead to more wins or will it help to blind the Spartan Nation from the agony on the field?  

Probably both.  The ES is bullish on the defense again (it is worth ticket price to see Bachie and Willikes... and see the d-interior of Panasiuk and Williams.  Potentially a No Fly Zone with Scott and Dowell with depth).  Offense is bearish, with more injuries on the line from preseason and an overall  ho-hum running corps.  But, it can't be worse than 2018.... can it? 

So, what do you say, pundits?  Here's the Sparty faithful giving its predictions:

It's that time of year! Need to know your thoughts for the 2019 edition of the Enlightened Spartan Season Preview: 1. Final Record for MSU (W-L). 2. Record in Big Ten (W-L). 3. Bowl Game Prediction? 4. Best Win (vs who, score, why?). 5. Worst Loss (vs who, score, why?). 6. Other general comments about MSU football. GO GREEN!

• Keith: 7-5, 5-4 dantonio seems excited.....im not. Surprise me sparty !!!!#
• Big Bob: 1) 6-6, 2) 4-5, 3) New President announces MSU won’t go bowling until it it has a real chance of victory, 4) WMU - the only game with more than one offensive TD scored, 5) OSU - Oscar Meyer is retired but his team will still win by 3 TDs, 6) MSU hoops team will win it all making it easier to forget about football woes
• C Hock:  1.) 6-7 2.) 6-6 3.) MSU 6 vs. UCLA 14 in the Holiday Bowl 4) Best win: all of them because it means our defense will have held the opponent to under 6 points, which is very impressive 5) Worst Loss: all of our losses, because our defense will have held the opponent to 7 points (also impressive) but our offense would have failed to score more than 6 points. Make or break year for "6 point Mark"
• Chef Tom: undefeated national champions
• Carter: 1. 8-4: because it looks a lot better than 7-5. 2. 5-4: same reason as number 1. 3. Arby’s Au’ Jus Bowl. 4. Illinois...it would be sad if they lose this one. 5. UM because it is just sad. 6. All depends on the shoulder health of QB....wishing Lewerke, good luck!!! Defense could make us even better....help us beat UM or OSU....
• Sloth:  1. 7-5 2. 4-5 3. The Fucking Fire Dave Warner Bowl 4. The Day That Dave Warner is Fired 5. Every Day That Dave Warner Is Not Fired 6. Nepotism sucks, and don't pay Lou Anna Simon a Goddamned nickel!!!
• Oakland Ronnie:  12-1 Something and 1 Citrus bowl Northwestern: MSU 40 something nw 13. Offense finally arrives and avenges last years terrible showing to set pace the rest of the year. Loss: Michigan. Blowout victory for Michigan to warrant Jesus harbaugh’s position on the throne. All over the place with this one.
• Doc:   1. 14-0 2. 9-0 3. Beat $aban in final 4. Tie between UM & Ala 5. Loss? That's sooo 2018 6. Back on top
• RGM3: 1. Overall Record: 9-3 2. B1G: 6-3 3. Citrus Bowl 4. Best Win: Michigan 21-17 Revenge from last years disrespect they showed us 5. Worst Loss: Penn State 24-21 i think our luck against them will end even tho they are highly overrated 6. Dantonio needs 9 wins and show an improved offense or he should be heavily on the hot seat
• Kat: MSU is 6-6/5-4 in Big Ten.  Cereal Bowl.  BEST: Tulsa.  WORST: Michigan. Go GREEN!
• ES:  MSU ends up 10-2/7-2 in the Big Ten.  Citrus Bowl.  ES will take it.  

Here's a game-by-game breakdown:

MSU 30, Tulsa 6.
MSU 24, Western Michigan 10.
MSU 17, Arizona State 9.
MSU 17, @ Northwestern 13.
MSU 20, Indiana 10
@ Ohio State 24, MSU 10.
@ Wisconsin 21, MSU 7.  WORST LOSS.
MSU 21, Penn State 17.
MSU 30, Illinois 0.
MSU 14, @ Michigan 13.  BEST WIN.
MSU 28, @ Rutgers 7.
MSU 24, @ Maryland 7.

FIRE DAVE WARNER

Hey, Coach D: 

FIRE DAVE WARNER

or leave!